Life Is A Bang!
by GrandLordAtos
Summary: Deidara had everything he could have ever wanted. Money, fame, women, parties, you name it, he had it. But when Akatsuki came knockin', everything began to go up in smoke. Lighthearted humor, but gets darker later on.  NOTE: Made prior to Pain arc, xOC
1. Chapter 1

**Note from the Author: **_HOY, FOLKS! Aside from my GaaMats fic "Student or Dearest Person?", I am also working on several sub fics that are part of my "Project: Before Akatsuki", which is a depiction of the lives of Akatsuki members before they joined. My first one was this; Life is a Bang, the story of Deidara's awesome life, and how it was ruined, turning him down the path of Akatsuki._

He had everything a man could ever want. Money, fame, women, and a load of talent. When Itachi and Kisame appear before him and tell him to join the cause of Akatsuki, he turns it flat down. But does he even have a choice?

An additional note; In this fic, Deidara is straight. Sorry fangirls. XD Besides, I think it's far funnier to see the guy pimp around a flock of women, and I'm the writer, so mah funniez is what goes in here! XP This one won't be updated quite as often as my other fic, because its' fairly new. However, I will try to update it at least every 2 days, expect for the first three chapters, which will be released daily. Hope you all enjoy the awesome life of Deidara, right before it goes...BOOM!  


_Oh, and one last thing. I was always a bit shaky on Dei's 'uns' 'yeahs' and 'hms'. Bear with me if they get a little annoying.  
_

**Disclaimer:** _Okay, if I seriously owned Naruto, I wouldn't be writing this fanfic. I'd be paying someone like James Paterson to do it for me, 'cause I'd be rolling in dough._

* * *

Dawn. Such a time was where the usual veil of darkness left the world and replaced itself with a warm ray of light. Such a time was what the inhabitants of Iwagakure, the village hidden in the rocks, arose to preform their daily lives as always. Nothing much ever changed, aside from the actions of the village's most popular shinobi.

Deidara Shoshin awoke in the bed within his designer apartment with a mighty yawn. Looking at the window, he adjusted himself to the rays of sunshine peeking through. Just another day? Not even the slightest chance.

The long haired blonde quickly put on his clothes and grabbed his flak jacket, throwing it on as he grabbed an apple from the clay bowl on the kitchen table. Grasping onto it, he stared at the bowl with his hand to his chin. "Hm...Now that I look at it this way, its' missing something, yeah." Putting the fruit down for a moment, Deidara performed a crossed hand sign, and channeled his chakra swiftly through his body. "KATSU!" he shouted, causing the bowl to explode, sending chunks of fruit flying in random directions. Conveniently, nothing his him, and he continued to look at the spot where the bowl was, now only where a cinder remained. "...I like it. It's fleeting, and deadly. Now then..."

Facing the door, Deidara grabbed the apple he had set down, and bolted out the door of his apartment, turning for the stairwell down the hall and slowing his run to a steady pace. "Now then, today I...meet the Tsuchikage. That's right. Wonder what kind of mission the old man has for me."

As he approached the stairwell, he noticed two people standing next to it, wearing bamboo shades over their heads, and black cloaks with cloud designs on them. They appeared to be staring at him through the shades. Deidara stood there for a moment, looking right back at them.

"Hoy, what are you looking at, hm?" he shouted, balling a fist at them. "Have you got something against me or something?"

The larger of the two spoke up suddenly, a deep and cutthroat, yet amused laugh proceeding his speech. "Oh, no, we've got nothing against you. We just wanted to see ya with our own eyes, is all. They say you're quite the explosives expert."

A confident smirk graced Deidara's lips, and he lowered his arms to his side. "So, you two must be fans of my art, then. Well, I would love to stay and chat, but I've gotta get somewhere. Why not try and catch up with me upon my grand return today, un?"

"Heehee, very well." the tall one said. "We'll talk to you later, I'm sure."

Deidara smirked again, but his smile faded when he looked again at the shorter one that hadn't spoken yet. Shooting him a curious look, he dashed down the stairs, and left the sight of the two.

"Man, what weirdoes, un." Deidara exited the apartment building, and rose the hand carrying the unbitten apple to his face. It was when he nearly took off his hands biting when he realized that the apple was no longer there. "What the?! What in hells name?!? Bah...I probably dropped it." The blonde artist ignored the preposterous thoughts of one of those guys he'd run into taking the apple while he wasn't looking, and continued to run down the streets of Iwagakure.

* * *

The current Tsuchikage, Toriyama Akaseitoka, was a veteran of the Kono/Iwa war that took place nearly two decades ago, and ever since had been trying to establish Iwagakure as a world military power. Even today, his motives for requesting Deidara's presence had everything to do with this.

"Where on earth is that guy?" said a Jonin from across the room named Osoi, who was apparently involved in todays' operation.

"Just wait a few." replied Dakara, another Jonin, who was leaning against a bookshelf in the office. "It's not even time for him to be here yet."

"Why don't both of you be quiet. He's here anyway." the Tsuchikage said.

Osoi's ear's perked. "What's that sound?"

Toriyama opened the window, and the screams and cheers of dozens of women flooded the room. "Deidara's entourage."

A moment after that, a loud stumbling noise was heard down the hall, and the door opened, revealing an almost out of breath Deidara, his hair in a slight mess. "My fanclub is starting to get a bit violent. Any more, and they might just take off my arms!"

Closing the door, the artist made his way over to the Tsuchikage and bowed respectfully. "Tsuchikage-sama." Raising his head once more, he cleared his throat and continued to speak. "I'm ready for today's mission whenever you are, hm."

Toriyama nodded. "Good. I wouldn't expect anything less from our top bomb specialist. Now then, recently, we found the village of an enemy of ours, the Village Hidden in the Caverns in a deepground entrance on a mountain roughly four miles east of Saniba Village. Deidara, today you, Osoi, and Dakara are going to the Village Hidden in the Cavern, and you will demolish their entryway. Just the entryway will do, because eventually, we will send ninja in there to raid the village of any supplies they have."

Deidara rose his eyebrow. "The catch?"

"Ah, so you caught my drift, did you? The catch is that there are actually two secret entries and exits to the village besides the main one. You will need to close both to ensure they all die trapped in their own foolishly placed village. Also, the inside must be kept in tact."

The same smirk of confidence that had graced him earlier returned, and Deidara reached for his bag of clay, placing his hand inside at once. "Sounds exactly like my kind of thing, hm. But I do have a question. Will this mean the end of our current war?"

Toriyama nodded, giving Deidara yet another idea to spice up the village's life. "Well then I have a little idea. What do you say after I complete this mission and the nin that go in after me declare that we've won, we throw a big celebration, hm?"

Toriyama pondered for a moment with his hand to his chin, stroking his scarlet goatee. "Hm...It might give the village something cheery to discuss for awhile. ... why not? Complete this mission, and I will announce it."

Deidara bowed respectfully and yanked his hand out of the clay, tossing a tiny clay bird out the window, and performing another hand seal, causing it to enlarge in a plume of smoke. It was big enough to ride, which is exactly what Deidara intended to do as he jumped out the window and began to soar away on it, the screaming women's noise growing. "I'll complete this mission in record time!"

When he was nothing more than a dot in the sky, Osoi mumbled something about him taking off too damn early, and jumped out the window onto another roof, followed closely by Dakara.

"That Deidara is going to be great someday, that is for certain." the Tsuchikage said, closing the windows to at last mute the women below.


	2. Chapter 2

**Note from the Author: **_Not bad so far, eh? I'm glad people liked this so far. Hopefully you all will like this chapter too. This was my first attempt at a 'mission' kind of chapter ever, so it might be the slightest bit boring at points. I was trying to get Dei's skillz down to an art form. Besides, I think the clay chinchillas were a nice touch. CHINCHILLAS ARE CUTE! XD ._

_..pretend I didn't yell that. Even I have masculinity I need to keep up. ...and yeah, just in case anyone thought otherwise, I'm a boy. ...why do I get the feeling that didn't need to be said? Meh...anyway, without further delay, behold Dei's...ART!_

_Remeber folks, italics mean thought. XD _

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Deidara or any characters in the Naruto world. I do own Dakara and Osoi, but let's face it, they suck. (lol)_

* * *

_"Hm...theres' a sentinel station at the base of the mountain two kilometers south of the village. ...there appears to be roughly seventy ninja stationed in the area surrounding the village entrance. Now lets' see where they cluster to most, un."_ Deidara adjusted the lenses on his telescopic device, and zoomed in on the ravine where the surrounding mountains met. _"Approximately twenty meters northeast, there's a nice little collection of shinobi that are patrolling in the trees, none too far from each other, un. That must be one of the secret entryways."_

The blonde bomber pulled his hands out of the large bag of clay, staring at the unusual mouths on his palms that were chewing away at the clay substance. A few more seconds of chewing, and at last it was ready. He opened his hands, and the mouths spat out roughly a dozen total tiny clay chinchillas.

"Alright, little guys. Make me proud, un." Deidara clamped down on the clay rodents in his left hand, and rose his hand into the air, casting them from the sky in which he flew. About halfway through their fall, he rose his hand with two fingers leveled with his eyes, and forced a flow of chakra through his body. In a burst of smoke, the mice became slightly bigger, and began to move when they hit the ground, sneaking around along the ground._ "Excellent. They should find that entryway in no time flat. When they do, one from each of the groups I release will report to the entryway I already know about. Now..."_

Searching again with his scope, Deidara flew overhead of a spot on the other side of the mountain, where he spotted another cluster of shinobi from the Cavern village. "They're making it too easy, un."

Flying over the side of the mountain where the ninja patrolled, Deidara tossed the clay chinchillas in his other hand downward, repeating the same hand-signs and springing the clay creations to life. Leaving the mice to their job, he activated his telescopic visor once again, and began to scan the forest at the base of the mountain for the entryway he knew was there. "Lets see. If Tsuchikage-sama was right about the location, it should be right around--what?!"

Deidara stopped for a moment and whirred his head into the position it was in just a moment ago. He could have sword for just a moment that the same strange guys from that morning were standing on a cliff up the mountain. Sure enough though, he saw nothing. "Whew...Must be losing my mind. Hm?!" He noticed that in the exact spot he supposedly saw the cloaked men, there was a pillared entrance of some kind. An entrance to a cavern! "The craft on the mouth of that cave was hand-carved, un. That's the main entrance, un. Now then, to ensure no one follows..."

Deidara placed his hand in the bag once more, and allowed the mouths to feast upon the clay once again. Keeping an eye on the entrance of the cave, he noticed tiny movement at the maw. _"One...no, both of them, hm. Looks like my little guys found the secret entrances already. Not bad."_ Pulling out one of his hands, Deidara grabbed a hold of a tiny clay bird his left had just produced, and threw it in the direction of the cave, enlarging it and springing it to life so it could fly the remainder of the way. _"That bird should hit the cave entrance in roughly two minutes and...twenty six seconds. In combination with those rodents, the explosion should cave in that entire cavern. The others set themselves up at the other entrances, and will likely hear the explosions, and in turn set themselves off. And to take care of the sentinels..."_ Deidara yanked his hand out of the clay, and was now holding what appeared to be a winged ghastly spirit figure of some sort. _"...I always have my specialty. Heh...they should be honored. I developed this technique awhile back to wipe out a village I was hired to terminate. It's not often that I use it on such an easy crowd, un. Now then..."_ Commanding the bird he was on to fly higher, the terrorist tossed the ghastly looking clay figure down, and enlarged it when it was only meters from the earth.

"KATSU!!!" he yelled. A second of silence followed, and then the entire are shook with the chain of Deidara's cleverly laid explosives, flames of destruction rising in their wake. Deidara waited as the smoke cleared, and another cocky smile played across his face when his visor noted the massive demolition of the main entryway. It was easy to locate the other entryways along the mountain, because the smoke from the explosives rose the same as the main entrance, and Deidara knew that the sentinels in the forest were no more, simply because of the insanely large crater that consumed half the forest.

"Another victory for the Village Hidden in the Rocks I suppose. Still, I don't see why they'd want to take supplies from the dead of a village that was so damned easy to take out, un. This better get me a parade or something, hm."

Deidara snaped his fingers in the direction of the now helpless village as though to say 'owned', and soared off back in the direction of his village, not noticing the dark stares still laid upon him.

* * *

About a mile away, Osoi and Dakara were trying to catch up to their partner, hopping around on the mountainside to cover lost ground.

"Damn that showoff. Now I'll bet we aren't going to get any credit for this!" pouted Osoi.

Dakara nodded in agreement. "I wonder why Tsuchikage-sama even bothered assigning us to this if he knew Deidara was gonna upstage us."

"Probably so he could pay Deidara for a mission, rather than those outrageous fees the guy charges for his bomber for hire gig. Craft, you've gotta give him that. ...wait, there he is!"

Osoi and Dakara stopped running and looked off into the distance, where smoke rose as though a city was burning. Sure enough, in the sky, headed straight for them, was Deidara, sitting on his bird indian style with a grin that was noticeable even from their distance. He swooped in over the ninja's heads, and leaped off his bird, landing stylish behind the two.

"So very slow, un." Turning around, the blond folded his arms, the grin on his face seemingly gaining confidence. The bird he was flying on landed behind him, and perched itself still. "What took you two? The funs' over."

Osoi and Dakara dropped their jaws simultaneously. "SAY WHAT?!?" Dakara yelled. "You mean you caved in that whole village already?!? H-how did you find the hidden entrances?!?"

Deidara responded by tossing Dakara a clay chinchilla, which the jonin then dropped after realizing it was one of Deidara's bombs. "Oh, please. I'm not that much of a bastard that I'd set it off in your hands." Deidara scooped up the chinchilla, and let it run around a bit on his arm. "I had these guys sniff out the entryways, thats' all."

"Wow, Deidara, I didn't think you had those kinds of skills!" Osoi said, quite impressed with Deidara's talent.

"I've got allot of skills, Osoi."

Dakara groaned. "But now we won't get any credit for the mission."

Deidara hopped back onto the back of the bird. "Then why don't I just say you two found the entrances, hm?" Deidara said. The two nin's heads perked up. "Really, I've got glory to spare."

"Deidara...you're just..." Dakara became speechless, so Osoi finished for him. "You're the best, man!"

Deidara rubbed his nose. "Oh, too true, un. Now, get your asses on this bird, and lets' fly back home and make it look convincing, hm?"

Without another word said, the to Iwa nin climbed onto the back of Deidara's bird, and the three took off for home, where Deidara was certain a celebratory crowd would be waiting. Then again, such was his life. Still, he couldn't help but feel something was about to happen. Something bad.


	3. Chapter 3

**Note from the Author: **_A half a day late isn't TOO bad. Sorry, I had sleeping problems. Anyway, this one needed little editing, so I decided to release it as is. It's mostly a humor based chapter, and a chance for Deidara to show more of his arrogant side. Hope you all like it and laugh. He was a little out of character at the end, but keep in mind that it was only for humor._

**Disclaimer: **I. Do. Not. Own. Deidara. Or. Any. Character. In. The. Naruto. Universe. Talking. Like. This. On. A. Regular. Basis. Must. Be. Difficult.

* * *

The ride home thus far had been pretty enjoyable for the three. Despite them not coming along for the main event, Osoi and Dakara were quite entertained by the tales Deidara was telling them about a past job he had, the reply being invoked by Osoi asking Deidara if there was ever a mission he'd had a difficult time with. All in all, Osoi and Dakara's opinion of Deidara had changed from him being an overly show-offish fathead, into him being a brilliant ninja worthy of all the praise he'd been receiving.

"...so anyway, they knew of my client's opposition to them..." the blonde continued speaking, laying back in a realxed manner, his head hanging over the side of his bird. He tossed down a few deformed chunks of clay, and set them off as they fell, sheerly out of habit. "My client at the time was the Fourth Kazekage, and knowing his reputation, I knew the village hidden in the ravine wasn't going to take any chances. But then I dug a little deeper, and I found out something rather neat."

"What was it, Deidara-sempai?" asked Dakara, who was almost leaning over too far to keep his balance.

Deidara threw down another handful of deformed clay. "The ravine village leader was a tough guy, and a smart ninja, but he had one distinct weakness that me and my girl Anna managed to extract out of one of his higher ups. Ironically, the guy was practically obsessed with himself, and artwork too. So I got a photo of the leader, and I molded a ten foot sculpture of the narcissistic bastard...and made it all out of my newly developed C3 chakra explosion technique. It was a stroke of genius that only a great artist like myself could have conjured up."

"Wh-what happened then?" asked Osoi.

Deidara responded by sitting back up, and tossing a clay chunk above Osoi's head, and causing it to make a firecracker worthy explosion. "It went up in smoke."

Osoi and Dakara's facial expressions were smothered in amazement, and they simultaneously began to clap their hands. "B-brilliant, Deidara-sempai!"

Deidara gave a slight bow. "I know, I know. Now tell me something I don't." He sat up again, and placed the rest of the clay he was holding into his bag. "Did you guys...see two people in cloaks and bamboo shades with a tacky red cloud design all over their outfits on your way to where you were?"

The two looked at each other, then back at Deidara, and shook their heads. "No, sir. We didn't see anyone." Osoi said.

Deidara turned his head to the front of the bird, and muttered under his breath. "Now I MUST be going crazy."

Osoi suddenly pointed off into the distance. "Look! There's the village!"

Deidara wanted to blow the guy up right now for interrupting his though time to become captain of the S.S. Obvious, and snapped his neck around. "Nooooo, really?!? Geeze, you guys don't know much about being good jonin, do you? A good jonin has to be..." He put his hand up to his chin and thought for a moment, then snapped his fingers when the word he sought came to him. "A good Iwa Jonin needs to be...cool."

"Er...how do we do that?" asked Dakara.

"Well for starters, shaddap when I'm thinking! That'll get you to the top pretty damn quickly, or at least quicker than you would if I ended up blowing you guys sky high."

The two jonin backed off a bit, now remembering why they had doubted this guy in the first place. Regardless of all his accomplishments, the guy was still a hothead of the highest caliber.

* * *

Their arrival back into the village was typical. Swarms of women and fans began to cheer when Deidara's oh so familiar bird flew into their mountain ranged village, and perched itself upon the office building of the Tsuchikage. Deidara hopped off early, much to the dismay of his partners, and landed skillfully on the rim of the buildings' roof. He moved back his hair, and then tossed a handful of his clay creations into the air, bringing them to life in a plume of smoke. The dozens of birds that emerged from the plume began to fly around Deidara in a circle, and then the blonde reached into his kunai pouch, pulling out not a kunai, but a scarf, and threw it over his shoulder, striking a pose, and letting the birds go off with a bang. The force from the explosion kicked up enough wind to get the scarf to sway in the wind. "Heh.THIS is art." he said to himself.

Osoi and Dakara just watched with a stupefied look on their faces, amazed at the fact that everyone in the crowd below was cheering and clapping at this ham. After the cheering began to die down, Deidara hopped off the ledge, and began to walk toward the roof entrance into the building, patting the jonin on the shoulders. "There, there, I know you guys are just jealous."

Osoi and Dakara sighed heavily. Now, they just didn't know what to think. Deidara was a brilliant shinobi, one worth looking up to, but MAN was he a narcissist.

* * *

"Back already?" asked the Tsuchikage, staring out the window at the still dying down crowd, right when Deidara entered.

Deidara rubbed his finger across his nose. "Heheh. You know it, Tsuchikage-sama. I took care of closing the village's pathways, and I took care of all the lookouts with my specialty, sheerly out of my desire to get this job done nice and clean for you, sir."

"Really?" Toriyama faced Deidara angrily. "Is that the honest truth?!?"

Deidara suddenly whimpered and stumbled back, falling flat on his butt. "Y-y-yes, sir! Why? Did someone report that it wasn't done?!? It was all Dakara and Osoi's fault, I swear!"

Toriyama began to wave his hand up and down in a sort of 'calm down' motion, and his face returned to normal. "Only joking, boy." This in turn caused Deidara to facefault.

Getting up, Deidara's face, despite now having a large red mark on it, gained a structure of glee. "Wait, does that mean we can hold that celebration thing I mentioned earlier?!?"

"Hm..." Toriyama resumed looking out the window. "I almost forgot about that. ...did I really say we would do that for such a minor victory? I mean, that village was merely an infestation of annoying pests more than an enemy."

Deidara folded his hands together and began to beg like a child. "Pweeeeeeeeeese? I'll make a statue to celebrate it!"

"Egads, man! And have it blow up on us?!?"

"N-no! I promise, I won't detonate this one! It's just...This village is soooooo boring! We need a party of some kind to liven things up!"

The Tsuchikage resumed thinking for a few more minutes, and stroked his goatee. "This village has been a little dull. That is, at least when your annoying fangirls aren't mobbing around town. No offense."

Deidara shrugged. "None taken. It can get old, I know."

"...oh, what the hell. Alright, Deidara. We will celebrate our victory over the Village Hidden in the...erm...where were they hidden again?"

"The Cravase, I think. Or was it the Village Hidden in the Mountain Crack? Because if you ask me, that sounds a little suggestive and--"

"Right, right, who cares? It was a pest village anyway, only good for stocking up of resources."

"Wait a second." Deidara said, his hand to his chin again with his eyes on the ceiling. "Who builds an effing village in a cavern anyway?"

"That was it. The Village Hidden in the cavern. Anyway, I'll announce it tonight. Until then, make sure you get your best work prepared. What do you say to...two weeks?"

Deidara saluted the Tsuchikage. "That's perfect, sir! I'll whip up my very best work before then!"

"Alright then. Dismissed." With that, the blonde stood up, and rushed out the door, motivated and pumped. This was turning out to be a not-so-typical day after all. After he left the room, Osoi and Dakara entered the room.

"Do we still get credit for completing the mission?"

The Tsuchikage shook his head in disbelief, and sat again at his desk, reluctantly filing the days' mission papers.


	4. Chapter 4

**Note from the Author:**_ Here we are at last! The event that triggers the fic's conflict. I hope you all like Itachi and Kisame in this chappie. Kisame was a bit out of character in this chapter, but I found it amusing. Also, the 'Anna' mentioned in this chapter is Dei's girlfriend. ...yes, I just said 'girlfriend'. Anyway, don't worry, she's not a 2D Origional character like some people make for their fan fictions. Heck, my sister hates OCs, but she said Anna seemed pretty interesting. You'll hear a bit about her next chapter, but try not to lose focus, fangirls. _XD

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Deidara, Itachi, or Kisame. I do own the food Kisame was eating though. Deidara stole it all from my pantry and fridge, the bast--ahem. I mean, enjoy the chapter!_

* * *

Back at Deidara's apartment, the blond burst through the door, kicking it aside with a bang. After entering, he tossed his clay bag across his shoulder, hanging it skillfully on a hook on the wall several feet away. He grabbed his visor off of his eye, and placed it on a coffee table at the front door that he'd designed to look like a hawk, with the wings bent in a manner that served as the table surface.

"Whew. That was a decent enough day. Now to watch the tube." He made his way into his kitchen, usually keeping the remote control on the counter through habit. It was just then when he noticed that the remote was missing. Pondering for a moment, he concluded that Anna must have dropped by and watched some TV for a bit. Heck, she was probably in the living room watching it right now.

He walked over to the fridge, opening it to get a pop for him and his girl. "Heh. The woman shoulda told me she was gonna drop by today." he said to himself, at last finding what he was looking for and closing the fridge. He opened one of the sodas and walked out of the room, drinking a bit from it. As he approached the living room from down the hall, though, he heard the TV. It was on the Iwagakure daily update channel, announcing the celebration. For a moment, the blonde swelled with pride over his idea, but then realized something; Anna hated watching what she considered to be 'boring television', which just so happened to include the information channel.

It was at the moment he realized this when he heard a familiar deep voice speak up from in the room. "Geese, Itachi-san. Can you believe how open about their accomplishments this village is? I mean, what idiot decides to hold a party because of the defeat of some half-assed village, eh?"

It was the guy from this morning. And this Itachi he was referring to must have been the shorter of the two. They were following him after all, and now, they were in his house. He stepped backwards slowly, trying to stealthily make his way toward his bag of clay. After the second step though, he noticed that someone was standing right behind him, and turned around to see the shorter of the two, Itachi, standing right behind him, holding his bag of clay.

"Looking for something, are we?" the young man said in a cold tone.

"Oi, Itachi-san!" called out the other one. "You got him or what?"

"Yeah." called out Itachi, gesturing to the living room, then addressing Deidara. "We want to have a word with you."

Just who were these guys anyway? Stalking him was one thing, but then they break into his home, and order him around?! Still, it didn't seem like he had much of a choice at this point. Itachi was holding his bag of clay, his only means of defense at this point. Quietly and obediently, the Iwa nin followed his captivator's orders, and walked into his living room.

He saw the other one slouching on the couch, with what appeared to be a large bandaged sword sitting up against the couch next to him. And...the nerve! This guy even had a bowl of potato chips next to him, that he was munching on even as Deidara sat down in one of the open chairs.

The larger guy then picked up the remote, turned off the television, and turned his attention to Deidara. "You know, you really need to get better channels. I mean, the Art Channel? Come on! Where's the Sports Channel on this piece of junk!"

Deidara smirked sarcastically, still knowing fully the situation he was in. "Oh, so you ARE from the cable company after all? Let me guess, you're the guy with plumber's crack, and your little buddy Itachi is the hard worker who wires things and stuff while you sit on your fat ass eating chips?" Despite his situation, Deidara could not pass up a chance to say that.

"Har, har, yeah, you're quite the comedian. But you've got no room to talk, what with that girly hair."

A vein pulsated in Deidara's forehead. "Oh yeah?!? I'll have you know that my hair, like my entire life, is a work of art! I'll bet you couldn't pull off anything more alluring!"

"Oh yeah?!" The larger one pulled off his shade, and Deidara gasped for a moment upon the realization that...the guy was blue and had gills, like a fish, or a shark, and even had sharp teeth and small beady eyes. "I'm as dead sexy as they come, pretty boy!"

"Kisame, we are not here to argue. Let us cut to the chase." said Itachi, who was leaning against a wall in the corner of the room.

"Er--right." Kisame cleared his throat, and looked Deidara square in the eye. "Shoshin Deidara, the leader of our organization, the Akatsuki, has heard of your talents, and wants you to join our little group."

"Oh, so this is about a job then?" Deidara replied, relieved that this wasn't a hostile situation after all. "Then you should have said so this morning. That way I would have known that when you guys showed up around my mission site today, I would have known you were just marveling at my talent. Well, if it's a job, then you should know that my minimal fee is--"

"This is not for a job." said Itachi.

"WHAT?!" Deidara got out of his chair. "Then what the hell?! I mean, if I'm not getting paid, then you aren't getting my services!" He turned his back to them and folded his arms. "It's non-negotiable."

"We knew you would say that." said Kisame, feasting on another handful of potato chips. "And we were told to tell you that if you come with us, you'll gain something better than money."

"And that would be?!"

Itachi was the one to respond this time, and seemed to be staring off into the distance the whole time. "Power."

Deidara turned to the men once more, and flipped them off. "Take your power and shove it up your asses. I'm got everything I've ever wanted right here."

Itachi got off of the wall, and then faded suddenly, disappearing from Diedara's sight. "Wha-what the?!?"

"If thats' your decision." said Itachi, who was standing back to back to Deidara. "Then we cannot waver it. However, we will give you two weeks to consider our offer."

Deidara was now paralyzed with fear. How in the hell could anyone be so fast?!

Kisame got off the couch and stretched, grabbing the bandaged sword, and handed the bowl of chips to Deidara and taking the other soda out of his hand before walking out of the room. "Keep buying this brand. Best salted food ever."

Itachi was the next to leave the room, but stopped at the doorway, and spoke one last time to Deidara, not even turning to look at him. "Remember our offer well. Also, dispose of this. I find littering to be a bit...distasteful." Itachi tossed an apple core over his shoulder at Deidara, who caught it for fear of it hitting his head. It was from the apple that went missing from his hand this morning. That means...

As Itachi left, Deidara knelt to the ground, trying to catch his breath after witnessing the raw display of skill that had taken place just a moment ago, and threatened his very life. The words of Itachi were still ringing in his ear even after he had returned to his room, plopping himself on his bed to rest. 'Remember our offer well'. Why did he have to? Were they trying to imply something?


	5. Chapter 5

**Note from the Author:** _Thanks for the reviews people. You may like this chapter, despite it being about a third shorter than last. I wrote it to get Anna's identity and backstory out of the way to prepare for what happens later. It's a funny chapter when it comes to the intro of Dei's little student, Arren. (and for the record, its' pronounced Aw-ron, you know, like FFX?) I did research on clay for this one so you could see an intelligent conversation between two artists._

_ The next chapter may be a little late. I'm trying to catch up on a few things. Expect to see a new chappie sometime this week, though._

**Disclaimer:** _The only character I TRULY own here is Arren, whos' name has an ubberly long title that gets longer as he ages, just like a fine cheese.  
_

* * *

At times such as these, when life seemed to give him a good shot to the groin, Deidara found it calming to confine himself in his workshop that he'd built himself at the edge of the village back when he was a teen. It was here that he started the village's first and only art school, where even today he still gave lessons.

Deidara closed the large encircling curtains around him and the over sized pile of clay, and began working his frustrations away by getting a head start on the festival sculpture. It hadn't taken him long to figure out what to make, since the Tsuchikage was a man of simple desires, and the villagers would cheer at anything the blond cranked out.

About ten minutes after plunging his hands into the raw material, the door to his workshop creaked open, and a woman with short black hair walked in, carrying a bento box in her hands. "Hey Deidei, you in here?" she called out, causing Deidara to panic, and fall right out of the curtain. Face still planted to the wooden floor, he responded in a muffled voice.

"Please don't call me Deidei, Anna."

Fuanna, or preferably Anna, was once Deidara's student back when he first started the art classes, despite being around the same age as him. She entered his classes to learn pottery, and now was the most recommended potter in all the country thanks to Deidara. She was also once a shinobi partner to Deidara, being the only one in the village who worked well enough with him. However, seeking to expand her horizons, she gave up being a shinobi to travel around, seeking inspiration for her art.

More recently, when she returned to set up her own pottery shop in the village, the two of them got together after a long argument about the quality of store bought clay as opposed to raw clay, Deidara winning of course. Their relationship was steady, and was probably made possible due to the fact that she was the only woman in the village who didn't see Deidara as nothing but a sex object.

Anna shook her head and set the bento on a nearby table, pushing aside the tools and day old sandwich Deidara was nibbling on earlier. "If you keep trying to be THAT secretive about it, you may as well sculpt whatever it is that you're making out in the mountains or something." She reached down to help Deidara up, and then peered over his shoulder to see what he was making. Just then, she made a frown and put her hands on her hips.

"Clay from Mt. Rokkaku? That's your exploding clay, isn't it?"

Deidara folded his arms and turned around. "However did you get that crazy idea?"

"Deiara! I can see the similarity to micas clay in the spots you let dry! There's hexagonal sheets forming on it, and the only clay that does that around here is the clay with the natural gunpowder on Mt. Rokkaku that you use in your jutsu!"

"Blah blah blah, say what you want. This was...er...imported."

"Oh yeah?" She pointed to the bag at Deidara's feet, which he was using to hold his sculpting tools. The label on it said 'Tools to use on clay from Mt. Rokkaku. You know, the exploding kind?' Deidara slapped himself in the face for making such a generically stupid label.

"Note to self" he thought. "Get Aran to label my stuff from now on."

She walked over to the table and picked up the bento, returning to him and handing it to him. "Here. I made you a snack. I heard about the the celebration in two weeks, and knew you'd be up all night."

Deidara opened the bento, and his face lit up when he saw what it held. "Anna, you're awesome! Strawberry rice balls GALORE!" He said this pulling out one of twelve pinkish rice balls, and stuffing it into his mouth, chewing gleefully. "Delicious!"

Anna dropped her angered look and softened into a smile, then shook her head. "I'm glad you like it, Deidara, but I made it in the hopes that I could convince you NOT to work all night." Deidara shook his head, and continued munching down on another rice ball. Anna sighed in response. "Fine, fine. You're so stubborn, you know?"

The door burst open, and a child with spiky red hair ran in. "DEIDARA SEMPAI!" he yelled, jumping up and down with a sketch pad in hand. "I drew using perspective this time! Look!"

"Alright, Arran. Let me see, un." Deidara took the sketch pad from the child and opened it up, getting a nosebleed when he saw what was inside.

"Whaddya think, sempai? That woman was pretty omp-licious, huh? I spotted her in the hot springs this morning."

Anna shot Deidara a dirty look. "What is it that you're teaching these children anyway, Deidei? You perv." With that, she stormed out of the room.

"H-hang on! Anna, wait a min--ARGH!"

"So did I do good on that one, sempai?"

Deidara responded by whacking him over the head with his own sketchpad. "Tsuchikage's son or not, you need to learn when the right time to fking show something like this is!" Calming down, the blonde cleared his throat. "Erm...but yes, it was brilliant. A work of art for sure. Maybe not the grandest form of art, but it still qualifies." All the while, Deidara thought to himself. "This kid's gonna be a huge perv one day, I swear. Tsuchikage-sama won't be too happy if he found out I'm the one teaching him how to draw anatomy, so I'd best keep this to myself."

"Ow...you still didn't have to hit me, sempai!" Arran whined.

**_END CHAPTER_**


	6. Chapter 6

**Note from the Author:**_ Holy crap, I'm alive! I mean, sorry I'm late on the update. I was rather busy. I'm preparing a large scale fan fiction that I'm hoping will take the world by storm. XD Good luck to me, eh? Anyway, lots of people were kinda hinting off wanting to see more Itachi-san and Kisame-san in the fic, so I decided to devote a chappie to them. This chapter also explains the situation a little better, like the reason for Deidei's easy mission. And if anyone wants to know what the jutsu Itachi used is, it's name merely means 'transport'. Much like a Kuchiyose no Jutsu,__ (Summoning Technique), it's basically a teleportation technique. Oh, this chapter also talks a bit about Kakuzu's original target, too. Some involvement Akatsuki's getting, eh? Hope you all like the chapter. I'll try to get a new one up soon, but I'm working on a lengthy "Slithering Away" chapter, and the super extended final "Student or Dearest Person" chapter. It may be a few days before I can whip up another._

**Disclaimer:** _I own Naruto and anything of Masashi Kismioto's. (didn't you get the memo? It's opposite day!)_

* * *

Even though the morning sun was hours away, and most of the Hidden Rock Village was tucked away in their beds, the two dark men from the previous morning stayed wide awake, their gaze looming over the night life of Iwagakure as they drank their tea in a small tea shop, not far from where they had come from this afternoon.

"So Itachi-san." Kisame began in a rather loud tone, considering the supposed secrecy of their operations. "If our mission is to bring this Deidara back with us and make him a member, then how come we didn't just nab him their and force him?"

Itachi blew on his tea a little, and took a sip. "Leader-sama told us that Deidara-san is to come of his own free will. Therefore, we will do absolutely nothing. Besides, we have a second mission to execute here before Saisori-sama arrives next week."

Kisame scratched his head. "Oh yeah. That's why we're in this tea shop right now, right? To meet 'him'?"

Itachi set down his tea and stared at it for several minutes without speaking, causing Kisame to lean forward in anticipation. "No. I just like tea."

With a blur of blue, the shark-like man face-faulted into the ground, causing the restaurant to shake a bit. He leapt up and sat right back down, clearing his throat to excuse his reaction just now. "Erm--Right. So um...Where are we meeting 'him'? You know? I mean, 'he' lives in this village, so it's gotta be around here."

"Yes."

Kisame stared at his blunt partner as he sipped more tea. "Geeze, you know, on the surface, you're this cold, ruthless son of a bitch." He started, moving onto the seafood dumplings he had special ordered. He finished his statement with his mouth full. "But you're really just an ordinary guy, huh?"

"Perhaps." Itachi said, bluntly as everything he'd been saying that night. "We should get going. The meeting is soon."

"Gottch--Hack!" Suddenly, Kisame began beating on his chest. "Ack, that's the last time I talk with my mouthful of dumplings!"

-----------------------------------------------------

Itachi and Kisame, after finishing their meals, found themselves in a long alleyway between tall buildings. The architecture in this village was unusual, Itachi thought to himself. It was almost like a middle cross between Amegakure and his former home. The village buildings weren't too modern, but the overall mood of the place was rather up to date, nothing like the old style Konoha had clung to.

The two stopped when they saw a dim light flicker in the distance. "That must be the place." said Kisame. "The lights' on too. That means we're a bit late, huh?"

"So it would seem." Itachi approached the dim light, and held his ring up to the wall. The ring began to glow, and suddenly, the bricks on the wall began to part and overlap themselves, forming a clear opening into a deep stairwell, with another light barely visible in its' depths. "The Tsuchikage's underground transaction headquarters. How appropriate a setting."

Quietly, the two walked down the long flight of dark stairs, and the bricks re-assembled in place behind them, closing the path.

"Geeze. All that money, and you'd think the guy could afford some lighting down this stairway." Moaned the shark-like man, almost tripping over an uneven step. "It seems like the further we go down, the rougher these stairs get. It's getting hotter, too."

Kisame almost ran straight into Itachi when he stopped all of a sudden, and backed off a bit when he detected his hands forming seals. Itachi put his fingers up to his mouth, and blew a small plume of fire that lit half the stairwell, or rather now that they could see, the tunnel. "Just as I though." said the boy. "This truly is underground. The formation on this tunnel are natural."

"Sheesh, What are we, going into a volcano?"

"That just may be the case." Itachi continued walking down the tunnel, leaving Kisame behind, stupefied at his partner's emotionless reaction to what he had said. He'd only been working with Itachi for a few months, but he was still utterly amazed at the chilling personality he had. And he was even ten years his senior. To this day, he wondered how a simple Konoha Nin could be colder than him, a ninja from the Bloody Mist?

Several minutes of walking found the two emerging into a bright and scorching room, with a glass window that seemed to overlook a cavern with a river of lava running through it. In the center of the room was a desk fit for a kage. In fact, the entire room resembled an office of some sort.

"Ah, you two must be Itachi-san and Kisame-san." said a voice from inside the wall on the right of their entrance. The next moment, the wall opened like a sliding door, and in walked a middle aged man with scarlet hair. "My apologies for not being down here when you arrived. I came here early, but when you two didn't show up on time, I decided to go back up to my mansion and speak to my son for a little bit before he went to bed."

Kisame was actually impressed. Two entrances into the same place, and one of them in a convenient spot such as his own house. Not a bad idea at all. Certainly a good setup for a Kage.

Toriyama, the Tsuchikage, walked over to the window that overlooked the magma flowing cavern. Gesturing his hands toward the chairs that were placed in front of the desk, the duo sat down and anticipated their hosts' words.

"I trust obtaining your Jinchuriki was a success then?" He said, not looking away from the view of the cavern.

"Yes, Tsuchikage-sama." Itachi said in a respectful tone. "Akatsuki no longer has a reason to keep that village around."

"I see. You people are lucky to have contacted me before we decided to go in and eradicate the village ourselves. It's would be a shame if anything happened to your Bijuu."

Kisame rubbed his stiff neck. "Yeah, but still, the Gobii was one tough customer. It loved to stay hidden, even when the Jinchuriki knew it was in danger. We still had a hell of a time finding it. But that Deidara guy closed the exits and stuff to the village and made it harder for them to escape, so all we had to do was find the villager who was panicking the least, rough him up, and bring out the beast, haha."

"The Gobii was supposed to be Kakuzu's Target Bijuu." Itachi began. "But Kakuzu-san isn't good at transactions, for he doesn't like to part with things like this." Itachi reached into his cloak and pulled out a scroll, and unraveled it on the table. Performing several hand seals, and pressing his palm to the symbol on the scroll, he said the words "Yusou no Jutsu". A briefcase appeared in a plume of smoke.

Itachi flipped the front of the case to face Toriyama, who turned around intently. As he opened it, the Tsuchikage's face sprouted a grin. "That is indeed a large amount of money." he said, gazing at the multitudes of ryu in the case.

"This is chump change compared to what we would have to have gone through otherwise if the Junchuriki was killed." Itachi stated, leaving the briefcase and sitting back down in his seat. "Akatsuki owes you gratitude after your graceful cooperation. Especially when you have the knowledge of us comprising of some of the most wanted criminals in the world."

"Hm. I was never fond of bounties anyway." Added Toriyama, looking back at the cavern, not seeing Kisame swipe a small amount of cash from the case. "I'm more of a business man. Which brings me to my next monetary concern." He turned toward the Akatsuki members with a sinister glare. "Deidara-san is not for sale."

"Huh? Now what makes you go and think we want to buy that pretty boy off you!" Shouted Kisame, getting up slightly out of his seat, but then being blocked by Itachi, and sat down unwillingly.

"What my partner here is wanting to say, is that any price you ask, we can indeed pay." Itachi said cooly. "Akatsuki is slightly new, and is in need of talented shinobi such as Deidara."

"Any price you pay won't be enough." Toriyama said, still staring into the distant glow of the cavern. "Deidara-san is not only our most powerful shinobi besides myself, but his abilities are rare, and he has given our village a great reputation. Not only that, but the villagers view him as a celebrity of sorts. He would never go willingly, even if I told him to."

"Is that so?" asked Itachi. The Uchiha stood up, and ushered for Kisame to rise as well. "In that case, I cannot continue pressing further." He bowed respectfully, taking off his shade as he did so. "It was a pleasure doing business with you, Tsuchikage-sama. May the winds of chance allow you another partnership with Akatsuki."

Toriyama turned to the two, smiled, and nodded. "I have to say, it was beyond my expectations to receive such a generous fund from criminals. Good luck in the future to you, and thank your leader for me."

Itachi began to walk up the stairs they entered through just as Kisame bowed as well, and after a minute of walking, Kisame began to whisper in conversation to his partner. "Why didn't you, you know, continue to haggle or something? You know the leaders' going to be pissed if we don't bring Deidara back with us."

"Kisame-san. Let me ask you something. Why did you join Akatsuki?"

Kisame stopped for a moment to think. "I don't really remember. The promise of money and power seemed like good things to go on. But also, I was wanted all over the place. I guess I wanted to hang with my fellow wanted men if you're asking for something deep."

"Precisely." Itachi said, still walking even when Kisame stopped. "Deidara-san would never join us unless it was the only thing left for him. All we have to do is make it the only thing left."

"Wait!" Kisame shouted, catching up a bit. "How can we do that? We aren't supposed to stir up trouble here. We'll lose the only village we currently have an alliance with."

"We will not cause the trouble." Itachi replied. "We will not do a thing. The one who will make Deidara turn to us...is Deidara."


	7. Chapter 7

**Note from the Author: **_Wari, wari, sorry I'm late folks. This past week was hectic for me, what with me moving back to the old US of A in a few weeks. Gotta get ready, you know._

_In comparison with the previous, this chapter is kinda short, but gets a general idea out of the way. Also, I used this chapter as a chance to prey on Itachi's age a bit. I hope you all like this humor filled chapter, because from here on in, Deidara is gonna have a hard time finding humor in everything. ...then again, its' US who are going to be entertained by what HE does, now isn't it?_

**Disclaimer:** _Mothra is the best monster! ...er...I mean, I do not own!  
_

* * *

_**Chapter Seven**_

The next morning, the streets of Iwagakure echoed with the deafening, rafter shaking snore of Deidara, who had fallen asleep the previous night working himself to the bone. The snoring had caught the attention of Anna, who walked past Deidara's workshop that morning with some of her recent pottery works. In truth, when Deidara hadn't shown up the previous night for their usual 'watch tv, shut up, and try not to argue about art again' session, she became concerned. Her fears were alleviated when she saw the blond's face smashed into the heaping mound of clay in front of him that he had formed into a pedestal the night before, cheeks rattling as he blew his snores into the cold earthy substance.

Anna wlatz up behind the snoozing artist, and grabbing his long hair, raised her head to the ceiling and shouted. "OH MY GOD! THE KILN SET THE ENTIRE WORLD ON FIRE! DEIDARA! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!"

Almost on cue, Deidara snapped awake in a panic, and jumped out of his seat and tried to run off, falling over and yelping in pain when he realized his hair was being yanked. "Dammit, woman!" he yelled, rubbing his scalp. "Are you trying to rob me of my hair or something?! I have to work hard to look good, you know, un!"

"Aw, I'm just jealous." the girl laughed, running her fingers through his hair playfully. "Your hair is just so effeminate and gorgeous! If I had this hair, I bet the men all over town would run after me instead of you."

"Oh, HA HA." Deidara was not amused, and stood up angrily, brushing the dirt from the floor off his clothes. She always made jokes like that about him, just to get a rise. Even though he knew it, it never ceased to amaze him.

"By the way." Anna started. "Someone was at the house looking for you last night. He was kinda quiet, and wore a shade over his face the entire time. His name was Itazu...no, Imichi? Darn, I can't remember."

Deidara's anger suddenly turned into rattling fear. "Was it...Itachi?"

"Thats' the one! Itachi! Anyway, he said something about wanting to speak with you again today. It sounded important. When I asked him if he needed to know where your workshop was, he said 'no'."

Deidara sighed in relief. At least those creeps wouldn't show up in his sanctuary of art.

"He said he already knows where it is."

A facefault followed after she said this, and Deidara leapt off the ground with a red mark all over his face. "You've gotta be fucking kidding me! He showed up last night?!"

Anna shook her head. "Nope. I didn't detect any hostility though, so I didn't ask anything." She began to frown. "Deidei, please tell me I didn't just let a killer walk off or something like that. I don't want to put you in danger."

A bead of sweat ran down Deidara's head. Those guys were not going to give up easily. Still, he couldn't worry Anna. She had enough to deal with at the moment to be concerning herself in a possibly deadly affair. She was only a Chuunin in rank after all, so what good could she do in the presence of two guys that could intimidate a former member of the ANBU elite, a world renown bomber-for-hire, and Jonin like himself? "Er...no. No, that guy was...A client, is all. It's just that...er...I wanted to meet with him earlier, and I was just...um...shocked that I missed him back home. Thats' all, hm."

A smile graced Anna's lips, and she hugged Deidara, which he accepted with a grin. 'Oh yeah.' the blond thought. 'Deidara, you are the man, un.' Just then, his thoughts were interrupted by a swift blow to the back of his head. "JEEEEZE!" He backed off from Anna. "What was that for, un?!?"

"That--" she began angrily. "--Was for leaving the milk out all night. Thanks to you, I had to run to the store and get more!"

"Well SO-RRY for allowing you to live with me and all, un!" The artist folded his arms and turned away.

"One more thing." said Anna. "Your class is waiting for you to get them at the front gates. You're supposed to take them on a field trip, remember?"

Deidara slapped his hand to his forehead. He had completely forgotten about all that what with his worrying about the celebration coming up and the strange men from Akatsuki. "Shit! Um...Can you run over real fast and tell them I'll be right there, Anna? I need to grab my equipment."

Anna smiled and nodded. When Deidara's flaws showed, such as his forgetfulness, it was easier to overlook his stubborn ego. "Of course. Take your time and don't FORGET anything." That said, the black haired girl walked out of the workshop and hastily rushed to greet the children of Deidara's class.

Deidara rushed over to his supply room, and rummaged through the materials to gather what he needed for the field trip he was taking his students on. Now that he thoughts about it though, where was he taking them anyway? Scurrying over to his calendar, he scanned the days for anything written in red ink. "There we go! Ah, thats' right, I was taking them to Mount Medetashi!"

"Talking to yourself again I see." said a slightly monotone voice from behind him. Recognizing the voice almost instantly, Deidara was very hesitant to turn around. His heartbeat was becoming faster and faster once he spotted the shadow casted by the speaker looming over the pile of origami paper. Gulping, the artist turned around to see Itachi right behind him, staring at him with eyes that resembled black tri-edged shuriken, something he had never seen before in his life. In a way, these eyes seemed to him as though they were drilling into his very soul.

In all truth, Itachi was shorter than him, something he only just now realized. However, his presence was terrifying all the same. Was Deidara really beginning to fear a child, probably only ten years his junior?

Grabbing what little confidence he had, Deidara flashed a cocky smirk at the cloaked intruder. "Oh, so the cable guy isn't tagging along on one of your intrusions today? Too bad, I had the sudden urge to fry him up in a skillet and sell him to the local fish monger."

"Again with the comedy routine?" asked Itachi. "I can tell you're only saying that because you are trying to avert your attention to the fear you are feeling right now."

"Wh-what makes you say that?!?"

Itachi slowly rose his finger up to Deidara, and then pointed downward at his feet. "Your legs are trembling."

Deidara mentally slapped himself for that one. It was a dead giveaway, something a good ninja, or ARTIST even, would never be caught with. "It's a nervous twitch is all!"

"Whatever you say." Itachi began to walk out of the room, stopping at the door in his usual cool fashion. "I only came to remind you of Akatsuki's offer. We cannot force you to join us, but it would be a great asset for you if you did."

"Oh yeah? Well the hell with that!" Deidara couldn't see from where he was standing, but he could easily tell the teen was laughing in an incredibly low tone, too low for him to even hear. But his movements of his body, and the placement of his cheek muscles gave it all away. "What's so funny, you little shit!" he yelled. "You're pretty cocky for a little brat! I'll make you regret wandering into adult territory, just you watch!"

Just then, Itachi vanished in a flurry of what appeared to be ravens. Deidara swatted the birds away in anger, and looked around the room to try and locate the mysterious intruder. He could see nothing, but noticed a concentration of feathers from the ravens floating around in front of him. Dropping his gaze to the floor, his fears began to intensify, and he backed up slowly away from the message written in raven feathers. 'Think long and hard'. 

_**End Chapter**_


	8. Chapter 8

Note from the Author: Sorry, sorry, sorry for the lateness. I've been dealing with a few things lately. Anyway, heres' the next chapter. Note that I made a tiny change to the previous chapter to where Itachi actually used his Mangyeko. (no, he didn't use Tsukiyomi)

I had to trash a 10 page chapter earlier because it SUCKED! Then I had to write this to avoid tears! But I do like how it turned out, even though its' significantly shorter than I promised. Still, it would have been easier if I hadn't been so down in the dumps.

Anyway, the method of opening the 'main gates' was actually inspired by something. A cookie goes to the person who nails exactly what it was inspired by. Otherwise, I'll just reveal the answer in my next 'Note from the Author'.

And if any of you are going "Mind reading? Sharingan? WTF?", then hear me out; that was actually based on this age old mind reading trick I learned about, to where a person watches anothers' every move, and determines what they fear, love, and hate through their gestures and words. Mind you, it doesn't work well for us, but WHAT if that's because our eye sight can't pick up the most critical of all things: The aura. The sharingan can see chakra auras, and with a bit of chakra pumped into the eyes, an Uchiha could probably read a persons' entire life story just by staring at them for a few minutes. Well...you know what I mean. Anyway, remember Itachis' creepy stare last chapter? (the edited version) He actually had the Mangyeko activated at that time. Error on my part, I know. I'm going to go over it when I get the chance. On a side note: ARE THESE BOLD, ITALICS, AND UNDERLINE THINGS ON THE EDIT SCREEN NOT WORKING?!?

Disclaimer: Deidara goes good with a side of I DO NOT OWN!

* * *

Chapter 8

"Okay, this is bull shit!" Deidara charged down the main street of Iwagakure, trying his hardest not to run into people as he ran. "It's bad enough that I forgot about the field trip I promised my students, but then that creepy kid shows up and gets all freaky on me again? I swear, it's like someone is purposely writing my misfortunes in the past day or so!"

Despite the shallow comment about the past day, Deidara was actually sort of looking forward to this field trip, merely because teaching had become a passion of his in the past few years. Ever since he was a teenager, he'd been told by so many people that his art skills were too good to keep to himself. That's what invoked him to start up the art school. It wasn't village sponsored at first, but when the artwork his school had produced began to be a common sight around the village, in the form of statues seen around the village, and trinkets sold in the stores, the heads of the village began to fund the young ninja a little. His popularity grew from then on, and since then, he'd become the most known shinobi in all of the village. This was what also spawned the crowds of swooning women, something he didn't feel he really deserved all that much deep down, but at the same time just couldn't refuse. Still, his art was the only thing other than his mission reputation he recieved that praise for, and after awhile, he had realized it wasn't only his art skills he wanted to be known for.

The fanbased that he truly appreciated though was not the women, but rather the admiration he received from his students. To see children, ignorant to the arts, take such an interest in the beauty and power it represented, it seemed to bring him the greatest joy on earth. Thats' why Deidara was so intent on making sure this field trip went off without a hitch. To see his students marvel at the world of art brought him joy that was nearly as great as the 'other' greatest joy in his life, whom coincidentally was the one he had sent to meet up with the children at the front gates.

At last, the blond spotted the rocky towering walls of Iwagakure's main gates, where a cluster of about fifteen or so children stood, a familiar black haired girl at the front of their group. Deidara stopped in front of Anna and nearly collapsed. "Sorry I'm late, everyone. It took me some time to find my supplies."

Some of the children laughed, and out from the group, the red haired child from before pushed his way out of the center and handed Deidara his water bottle. "Here sempai. You probably need a drink of something after running across town."

Deidara snatched the water bottle out of young Arren's hand and guzzled it down in mere moments, patting the child on the head. "Thanks Arren."

"Since when did you allow your students to call you sempai as opposed to sensei?" Anna asked out of curiosity, holding back snickers at the water running down the artists' chin, causing the clay dried on his face from when he slept on it to get wet and change texture, forming an odd linear pattern.

Deidara took a moment to catch his breath, then stood up straight and faced his girlfriend, staring at her as though he was annoyed, even folding his arms. "Since when did you give two flying fish about what ANYONE calls me? If you really need to know, people calling me sensei makes me feel old. SemPAI sounds just about right, so I think it works out for me."

"Right, right, I forgot that I'm talking to an ageless beauty." She bowed in mockery, causing the children to all burst out laughing. Deidara just turned away and fumed a bit, blowing a stray bang of hair out of his eye. "Anyway" Anna said, leaning up again. "The children are all dying to know where you're taking them for their field trip, you know. What, you never told them?"

"Is this twenty questions or something?! Ever heard of a surprise? ARGH! Okay kids, follow me." He walked past the children and approached the two ninja on guard at the front gate. "'Sup Torra? Banku? Gonna let us pass today?"

The taller of the two shinobi nodded, and he rose his hand toward the left top of the stone gate. A ninja on top of the gate saluted him, and then leaped onto the side of the gateway. As he slid down the wall, it began to sink into the ground at the rate he was falling, and soon he touched foot to the earth, making the gate sink into the ground completely. The other of the two ninja bowed to Deidara. "Tsuchikage-sama has already requested us to allow you and your class to exit the village for the day. Please don't go anywhere past your destination today, for we expect you back before nightfall. If you do not return, we will send a search unit."

Deidara waved the ninja off. "Right, right, I know the agenda, Banku. I was once in the ANBU for a short time, so I'm fully aware of our villages' procedures."

"Right. Enjoy the Floral Burst." Banku suddenly slapped his hand to his mouth when he saw Deidara scowl, knowing that he had just said something he shouldn't have. "Uh...oops."

"OOPS?!? YOU JUST GAVE AWAY THE SURPRISE!!!" Deidara jumped at Banku, and within the next few seconds, a cloud of dust rose to 'censor' the carnage Deidara was invoking on Banku.

Anna sighed and silently ushered the children to move along, and while Deidara was busy beating up the guard, the group had already left the line of sight and passed through the pass that led to the forest outside the village.

Deidara stopped when he realized this, and without a word, he scurried off after them to catch up. "OI! WAIT UP, UN!!!"

Torra rolled his eyes when he beheld the arm-locked, pretzeled mess that remained of Banku. "You got this job again HOW?"

"Oh shut up!"

* * *

"Okay, so I don't get it Itachi." Kisame began, watching the show of the front gate that had just past from the rooftop of a nearby building. Itachi had just arrived the moment Deidara's group left, forming in a swarm of ravens. "What exactly was it the leader wants with this guy anyway? I've been watching him just now, and he STILL seems like a showoffy goof-ball to me. I mean, sure he can take out an entire village in a single attack, but when are we really going to be destroying the villages to capture the bijuu? That seems like it would eliminate the whole purpose of capturing them 'alive'." 

Itachi walked over to the shade provided by the morning sun casting a shadow upon the water reserve tank of the building they stood on, and leaned against the wall. "He wants Deidara in our group desperately. That is all we need to know." Kisame suddenly noticed that his partner was breathing a little heavier than he normally did, and even spotted a tiny bead of sweat running down his face.

"Uh, are you tired or something? What did you do? Wait, you casted one of your genjutsus on him, didn't you?"

"No. I casted no genjutsu. I merely looked into his mind to the best of my ability."

The fish-like man blinked. "Mind reading dojutsu? That's a new one I've never heard you use. What were you looking for?"

Itachi stopped his heavier breathing, and looked up at his partner. "Everything. And I have already made a prediction based on what I have learned. We don't have to do anything. In the end, Deidara will be the fall of himself, and he will come to Akatsuki to give his life purpose."

"Itachi...you scare me sometimes. Then again, I guess thats' why I like ya."

The black haired boy got off the wall and walked towards the buildings' edge. "Come. The leader will want to hear of our progress."

Kisame nodded, and in the blink of an eye, the two mysterious shinobi vanished from the building top, furthering themselves from their target, yet apparently not worried by a thing. If what Itachi was saying was true, then Deidara would be his own downfall. What that meant, though, was soon to be discovered.

End Chapter


	9. Chapter 9

Note from the Author: HOLY CRAP, I'M ALIVE! Er...I mean...um...yeah, sorry for leaving. I got a new job now that I'm back in the states, and sleeping patterns on top of that and writers' block is the biggest bitch I could ask for right now. Hopefully you all like this chapter.

So yeah, looks like Pein made an appearance. And Kakuzu, Sasori, and Orochimaru too. Oh, and as a little FYI, I made the assumption that since Deidara also dislikes Oro, Orochimaru and Sasori would have to have been separated as a team before Oro tried stealing Itachi's body.

And finally, you all know what the floral burst is. Oh, and if you're wondering about the 'I'm doing it for the lulz' chant, it's internet lingo. It's like lol. I think it has something to do with internet drama, and I figured, 'Hey, Deidara's humor filled life IS internet drama', and slapped it in there as a funny reference.

ADDITIONAL: WHat the hell is wrong with the stupid bold, italics, and underline? When I use them, they NEVER SHOW UP! 

Disclaimer: I do not own Deidara, Akatsuki, or anything in the Naruto universe. I'm just writing it for the lulz.

* * *

"Come on, sempai! Just tell me!" whined eight year old Aran. "The rest of the class is further behind with your girlfriend! Why can't you tell your bestest student?!" 

Deidara took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself. The last thing he needed now was Aran's constant whining. Despite being his best and most loyal student, the red headed child was also a pain in the neck, and nearly impossible to ignore. Even though it would have shut him up instantly, he was not going to cave in and tell Aran what the Floral Burst was.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaase?!?"

A vein pulsated in Deidaras' forehead. 'I'm doing it for the lulz. I'm doing it for the lulz. I'm doing it for the lulz.' he chanted to himself mentally. This brief moment of breaking the fourth wall, however, was rewarded to him with Aran suddenly inhaling a deep breath, ready to execute the loudest begging anyone had ever heard in the Rock Villages' history. Luckily it was cut short.

"DEIDARA-SEM--" WHAP! The sound of a folded paper fan smacking over the top of the child's' head echoed across the mountain path, which the group was walking through.

The vein in Deidaras forehead began to quell, and he released his tight grip on the fan he had just struck his obnoxious pupil over the head with. "Aran-kun, shut up already! You will know what it is WHEN WE GET THERE!"

"Ouch! You didn't have to hit so hard, sempai" the spiky red haired boy whined, rubbing his lumped scalp. "I'm the Tsuchikage's son, you know! You shouldn't hit me, because you could get into lots of trouble!"

Deidara, who had been standing in place long enough so that the rest of the students were halted behind him and Aran, whirred around and smacked Aran over the head with the fan again. "I DON'T CARE! MY ART CLASS, MY RULES! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU'RE FREE TO WASTE THE MONEY YOUR POPS PUT INTO GETTING YOU IN THIS CLASS AND HEAD HOME!"

Deidara took his eyes off Aran for a moment, and noticed the slightly overwhelmed look in the rest of his students, who all seemed like they were struggling with the decision to stay put and shut up, or run away as fast as they could. "Um...Th-that, kids, is how you, um...D-deal with art critics who don't know what they're talking about! Yeah! Hahaha...hoo-boy."

He said this in a nervous and bouncy tone, alerting Anna to his distress. The potter girl made her way to the front of the group, and stood next to Deidara, who was hanging his head low to hide his embarrassment. "Um, okay children" she began, turning toward the trail and pointing to a clearing up ahead. "There's a rest station once you get into that clearing. We're going to stop and eat lunch there, so you can run ahead if you want, but don't stray any further. Okay?"

Nods and acknowledged 'okays' emanated from the group of children, and they all ran off towards the clearing excitedly. Anna turned to Aran, hoisted him to his feet, and patted him on the head. "Run along, sweetie. I need to talk with sempai for a bit."

Aran nodded after taking a quite glance at his teacher, who a moment ago had blown up in anger at him, and ran to join up with his peers, looking back as he ran.

Anna placed her hand on Deidaras' back and rubbed it gently. "What's wrong with you today, Deidei-kun? You seem to have something bothering you. Care to talk about it?"

The blond artist rose his head a bit and shook it. "N-no, nothing's wrong, hm. I'm just...tired. Yeah, I'm tired."

"Well, perhaps you should allow me to handle these children today." Anna put her hand under Deidaras chin and turned his head towards hers, donning a wily smile. "You don't seem cut out for it today." She released the blonde's chin, and began to walk towards the clearing, where the children were, turning after a few feet to address her boyfriend. "You coming to eat?"

Deidara only turned his head to her and gave her a forced smile. "I-I'll be there in a minute, hm."

Anna shrugged, and walked away, hastening into a run when she noticed a student pulling on the hair of another. Deidara could only sigh now that he had this moment to himself. What had come over him to make him strike his own student? More importantly, where DID he get the paper fan from?

Ignoring the latter, Deidara realized that during this entire time, the words of that Itachi person were still echoing in his mind. "Nrg. I have to keep focused" he told himself. "That brat has nothing on me. I'm the most powerful shinobi in the Rock Village, almost! Only the Tsuchikage himself really comes anywhere close to my skill. So what am I so afraid of?"

Realizing that he still had a job to do, Deidara decided it best to push aside this matter and return to his duty. After all, he intended to show his students the Floral Burst, and he did not want anything to ruin this event. Shaking his head at any crippling thoughts, the artist turned to the clearing, and dashed towards it with a burst of false enthusiasm.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the dregs of Iwagakure, down a street with run down homes and shady characters, the familiar sight of Itachi and Kisame could be spotted, walking down the main street as though they owned the place. Kisame was holding a bag the size of a body over his shoulder, but no one he passed payed even the slightest glance. Turning down a shadowed alley between a restaurant and a condemned building of some sort, the two paid little to no attention to the ANBU who was watching them from the top of a building from across the street, the hawk-like stare from his eyes notable even through the mask. 

"The leader isn't going to like the news we have even in the slightest." said Kisame as they reached the dead end of the alley. He put his blue ring up to one of the bricks, and suddenly, the wall lowered, allowing them to enter into a dark passage way, not unlike the one they had been to the previous night. "After all, you know how Pein-sama feels about failure. I mean, remember what he did to Kakuzu after he killed his own teammate in the middle of a mission? Come to think of it, he was on the same mission that we just completed, getting the Gobii and all." Kisame noticed the temperature of the room rising again, and knew that they were at least fifty feet below ground. He looked back at the stairwell, and saw only darkness. Perhaps the entrance had closed behind them. Even though he had been in Akatsuki for about two years, he was still occasionally taken by surprise at these things.

The two of them reached the bottom of the staircase, but unlike the one they last traversed, the room at the bottom was still pitch black. Not so pitch black that the duo couldn't see the glowing hologram-like image of the Akatsuki leader standing at the far side of the room. "You're a day late. What took so long?"

Kisame tossed the bag onto the ground, making a mighty thud. "Well we had to make our transaction, didn't we?"

"The Tsuchikage does not approve of our desire for Deidara." Itachi said suddenly, breaking his long silence.

Pein, the leader, did not even acknowledge the words of the two, and turned toward the pitch black space that surrounded them, performing a series of hand seals slowly, releasing a flare of chakra from his astral image with each movement he made, ending the seals by pressing his palm against the stone floor of the room. A loud rumbling noise began to echo all over the cavern as a large statue of a pair of opened hands and a beastly multi-eyed head rose from it.

Itachi and Kisame both took off their bamboo shades, and leapt onto one of the fingers of the statue each as it rose. Itachi perched gracefully upon the ring finger of the right hand, while Kisame landed at the same time on the ring finger of the left. When the statue stopped rising from the floor, the astral Pein muttered 'Assemble', causing several other astral holograms to appear on the fingers of the statue. Pein himself then vanished, and re-appeared on the right thumb, and began to speak, staring at the bag in-between the hands and head of the statue. "The Gobii is being sealed today, everyone. With our current numbers standing at nine, we will only need two days to perform the sealing."

Just then, the pearly eyed astral form atop the left middle finger spoke up over the leader. "No disrespect, Pein, but I only see eight."

"Oh?" came a creepy voice from the figure on the left little finger. "Heheh. Looks like my former partner is already proving everything I said right. What a hypocrite, that Sasori. He claims to hate making others wait, yet here he goes."

"Shut your mouth, snake." yelled a gruff voice from across the room at the entrance. It couldn't be seen too well, but a large, almost hunchback person was wading towards the statue. It stopped below the left thumb, then jumped up to it in an impressive speed, given the shape of the thing.

"Sasori in the flesh, huh?" laughed Kisame. "I thought you weren't going to be here for another week."

Sasori grunted. "I came here to check up on the sleeper agents I've dispatched through this village before meeting this whelp that is supposed to be my new partner. By the way, one of them spotted your entry into this lair. You may want to be careful, or else the Tsuchikage will break our ties with him, and we will lose one of Akatsuki's only safe havens for alliances."

The conversation topic was changed when the shallow voice of Orochimaru crept past everyones' ears once more. "The body of the Jinchuriki is not damaged, I can already tell. So, Itachi-kun, you took out this Jinchuriki on your own, did you? Thats' some power you have. Kakuzu couldn't have hoped to do a better job, since he's always killing his team members. He needs all the help he can get since he doesn't have a partner that can't die to make up for his incompetence, wouldn't you agree, Uchiha?"

The pearly eyed projection glared at Orochimaru. "You want to say that shit to my fucking face, queer? I'll rip your flesh off of you until you have nothing left to shed if we ever meet in person, I swear."

"I'd love to see you try." responded Orochimaru, snickering behind a raised sleeve.

"He would destroy you, you serpentine bastard." muttered Sasori, referring of course to his former partner. "Had Pein not taken us apart as a team due to his fear that I'd be like Kakuzu and kill my own partner, you'd be--"

"Enough." yelled Pein. "You all need to learn to work better together. Or at least not antagonize. Now, we've wasted enough time. Let's seal the Gobii now, before it is able to recuperate."

The members of Akatsuki quickly silenced themselves, and stood perfectly still as the rings on the fingers of the statues began to light up. Not another word was spoken, and within minutes, the sealing ritual began.

* * *

It was almost mid afternoon, and Deidara's students all began to show signs of their fatigue. Long gone was the lunch hour, and the heat of the passing day wasn't merciful on anyone in the group, even Deidara himself. 'Why did it have to be so hot today?' he kept asking himself as he led the group through a dense forest. Minutes passed, and the humidity grew more and more dense, making Deidara realize something. Of course today would be hot. It was the Floral Burst, after all. The day when Bakugekiki Flowers began to release the moisture they've collected over the season into the air as they prepare to dry out and burst. It was this very phenomenon that inspired Deidara to become an artist in the first place. And passing the beauty that lasted for that one fleeting moment down to the minds of potential young artists made his heart swell at the very thought. 

Just then, a loud popping noise echoed across the woods, and the heads of the tired group perked up. Deidara cracked a smile in response. "The floral burst is starting. We're here."


	10. Chapter 10

Note from the Author: I think hates me. The darn bold, italic, and underline buttons haven't been working for me for weeks. Maybe I should report it.

This chapter is a bit shakey, and I involved my OC Anna a bit more than I guess I should, but it gets the job done. My next few chapters should be of better quality, since now I'm out of the shadowy part of the fic to where even I don't know much of what's going on.

Please review the chapters if you like them. It sounds selfish, I know, but I don't feel right posting the story here if people are reading it and not saying anything. Makes be think they're bottling something up they think would hurt me or something.

Due to my request fics I'm writing for the holiday season, this fic is going to see more attention. Why MORE you ask? Because I'll be off my fat ass and writing more, that's why. XD

Disclaimer: I don't own Deidara or anyone in the Naruto franchise, but I do own your house and everything in it. Get off my computer.

* * *

"Whoa! It's like fireworks, but up close!" 

"Oooh, can I touch the flowers, Deidara-sempai?"

"So pretty!"

"Yeah! Thanks for taking us here, sempai!"

Hearing the words of awe and gratitude in his students cause a happy little grin to grace the lips of the blond artist. One of the things this narcissist wasn't self centered about, passing the knowledge of his 'divine art form' down to the next generation, seemed to melt away all of the strife he had been feeling since yesterday. For now, his only concern was making his way to the front of the group, between them and the dazzling colored array of miniature explosions coming from the dried flowers in the clearing before them, and revealing the project he was going to have them work on.

"Class, do you know what this is?" He mentally smacked himself. Thanks to that rockhead Banku, all the children were raising their hands at the same time, eager to get pride in correctly answering a question that was already answered before. "Ugh...Um...uh...Okay, okay, say it all at once."

"THE FLORAL BURST!" the children cried in cheery unison. Deidara's face cringed, and he stuck his finger in his ear in a fruitless effort to 'massage' his ringing eardrums.

"Yes...wohoo. You all got it right. What a surprise." His sarcasm was obvious, as was his distress over not being able to spot which one of the children had actually done their homework he had given over the floral burst just a week before. Over by one of the trees at the clearing's entryway, Anna was hiding her laugher behind her sleeve.

"Ugh...Okay, okay. Now, which one of you knows WHAT the floral burst is?"

As he had predicted, the small red haired child, Aran, stepped forward, eager to speak. "I...have ABSOLUTELY no clue!"

The group snickered wildly, and a few of the children began to burst out laughing at the display of ignorance young Aran just displayed. Of course, Deidara was not amused in the slightest, and had it not been for his girlfriend giving him an attentive glare from the back of the group, he would have done more than reach for the paper fan in his pocket, still unsure as to why he packed it in the first place.

"Okay Aran, you think you're so clever, do you?" Deidara smiled wickedly at the class clown, who gulped and turned around to an almost fiery teacher. "Well, guess what?"

Aran began to tremble a little, and spoke in a shaky voice. "Wh-what, s-sempai?" The child clamped his eyes shut when Deidara rose his hand, but was surprised that no strike came to him. He opened his eyes and looked at Deidara, who was, above all things, smiling.

"That means I'll expect you to do the best on todays' project." Aran's fear of punishment gone, Deidara turned to the group. "Okay, kids. Long story short, the Floral Burst is an event that happens only once a year, when the Bakugekiki flowers release all the moisture they've absorbed, which dries them out, and causes their pollen and seeds to scatter. The pollen reflects light, making it look like miniature fireworks." He turned to the small clearing of flowers, and reached over to pick up one on the end that was about to burst. "These same flowers, this same event, inspired me many years ago. The life of these flowers is so short, yet for that one moment they release their seeds and pollen and create that fantastic display, they become etched in the minds of the people who see them forever. The Bakugekiki flower teaches us that even though life is fleeting, if you are worth remembering, your life will be something to remember. Life may be fleeting, but then again..." Just then, Deidara tossed the flower into the air, right as it exploded. A shining, almost ember-like pollen began to rain down over the artist. "...that is why it is beautiful."

Looking at the attentive faces of his students continued to fuel his smile, which had been fake up until he began his speech. His students were listening, and interested in what he had to say. This was one of the few things that kept him happy. This was his art.

"Students, break out your sketchbooks. Today, I want you all to watch the floral burst. Draw whatever your heart desires as you watch. Today is the last day we'll be working in our sketchbooks, so make it count."

As if on cue, the students all began to pull their sketch pads from their bags, gathering and kneeling at the sides of the flowers with baited breath, eagerness rushing through their hands. Deidara himself walked past his students, and made his way over to Anna, who was smiling at Deidara, unlike a few moments ago.

"That was really impressive, Deidei." she said, wrapping her arms around the blond in a tight hug. "I had no idea you had such a way with words."

"Heh. If you think THAT was good, just wait for my speech at the upcoming festival." Deidara replied smugly.

Anna and Deidara sat down next to the tree where Anna had been standing for the past few minutes, and watched the children marvel at the botanical display. Anna leaned over on her artistic boyfriend, and began to speak gently. "It was really sweet of you to invite me, you know."

A bead of sweat ran down Deidara's forehead. "Uh...I invited you?" This comment was returned with one of Anna's usual tomboyish punches to the arm. "O-oh, yeah! I did invite you, didn't I? Well, it was nothing, un."

"Hm...now that I think of it, you owe your artistic ways to me, don't you?"

"What? Hell no." Deidara beat his fist to his chest. "It's all natural talent."

The black haired potter snickered. "Oh really? Wasn't it me who invited you to see the floral burst with me when we graduated the academy?"

Deidara blankly looked up at the dense trees, scoffing all the while. "Hmph. I remember no such thing, un."

Suddenly, Anna's hand grabbed his hand, and forcibly opened his palm, placing a tiny misshapen figurine in his palm, careful to make sure the mouth on his hand was closed. "Remember THAT? You gave that to me when we came here after your whole 'inspiration' thing you went through, saying something like 'keep this. It'll remind you of the old me. From now on, all my works are gonna have a new flare to them'."

The blond turned away more to hide his reddening face. "Oh...that piece of shit. Why did you keep it for so long? My art is so much better now, that I can whip up a new one for you if you really want it."

"Nah." Anna took the figurine from her boyfriends' hand and placed it in her pocket. "Really, I liked the old Deidara. That's why I keep it with me."

Deidara's expression became puzzled, and he turned to Anna, who was staring at her pocket. "What do you mean by that? Don't tell me you're breaking up with me!"

"No, no, nothin' like that. I love you too much, Deidei-kun. But the old Deidara wasn't always so busy, and got into arguments with me less. In fact, he almost never thought I was wrong. You could say he had a teensy wittow cwush on me."

"Absurd, un. We didn't even start dating until a few years ago, and even then, the earliest I would have shown any signs of liking you was when I began my art school. Hell, you were my first student, woman."

"Oh yeah, I remember." She began to press up against Deidara a little more, and twiddled her thumbs a bit. "I was jealous of your artwork, and I wanted to learn from you so I could catch up. That was when we were sixteen, right?"

Deidara nodded. "Yeah. I just got done abandoning my ANBU life, and decided to give myself a name again. You hadn't seen me for three years because of my time on ANBU. It never would have happened in the first place though if you didn't talk me into taking the chuunin exams."

"Well, you were down, and didn't think you could do it. I decided to cheer you up by recommending you to our sensei. Is that a crime?"

Deidara shifted his glance down to his girlfriend. "Not really. I guess my entire success is because you gave me that little push. Thanks to the chuunin exams, I was able to rank up, and it wasn't long before Tsuchikage-sama recommended me for Jonin status, and then ANBU."

A gentle breeze skimmed the treetops, and the crackles from the Bakugekiki flowers began to pick up their pace. Anna looked over at the marvelous flowers, but turned away a moment later, not even staring at Deidara. "I'm the reason for your success, huh? Figures. I would be the only one on the planet to endanger my hopes." She swiftly brought her hands up to her eyes.

"What?" More puzzled than before, Deidara rose an eyebrow at the girl, expecting an answer. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Anna stood up, and shook her head without looking at the blond. "Um...it's nothing. I was just...thinking out loud. I...um...think I left something at the rest area. I'll...go and get it. I'll be back before you guys leave, so um...don't worry about me."

Not saying another word, Anna hastened off through the thickets. The thing Deidara didn't understand was why she was headed in the opposite direction of the rest area. "Nandei? That womans' got a screw loose or something."

As if the timing was set against him, the shrill and cheerful voice of Aran rang in Deidara's already abused ears before he could even think about chasing after Anna. "DEIDARA-SEMPAI! LOOK!"

Deidara turned toward Aran. "This better be important, Aran, I just--WAH!" He was suddenly stopped by a nosebleed upon seeing Aran's picture of yet another nude woman.

"Did I do better this time, sempai? I was inspired the the bursts to add some 'omph' to the curves, if ya know what I mean!" His cheery banter was rewarded with a lightning speed fist crashing down upon his skull.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET INSPIRED TO DRAW ANOTHER NUDE WOMAN FROM EXPLODING FLOWERS?!?"


	11. Chapter 11

_**Note from the Author:**__ Holy crap, I'm alive! Sorry it took so long, folks. Allow me to explain. _

_Certain events in my life have been going on. New job, hard 'relationship' problems, and trying to keep up with all my writing. It's been tough, and I hope you all forgive me for such a late update._

_ This chapter is kinda short, but FINALLY got me out of that writers block, and gets Annas' little outburst from the previous chapter a little more explained. Lets just say she has one girly little dream, despite being a tomboy._

_'Pain', the Akatsuki leader, was at first referred to as 'Pein', which I liked the spelling of. Just a heads up, I will always refer to him as Pein._

_I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I'm a bit faster at writing now, so expect the next chapter up either tomorrow or the day after. The fic is starting to reach the climax...un._

_**Disclaimer:** If I owned the characters other than Aran and Fuanna, I'd likely be rich and have a fanbase. I see no cash, and I see no fangirls. Therefore, I OBVIOUSLY don't own.  
_

* * *

The sun was about to set, and in good timing too. Deidara's class, Anna, and himself, were only about a half an hour walk from home. Among the chatter of his students, who were all debating over who's picture was the best, Deidara noticed Anna, now cheerfully talking with one of his students.

Just what was her spontaneous burst of emotional regret about earlier? She should have been happy! She was the reason Deidara became so successful...and rich...and popular...and...busy.

"Son of a bitch, I'm a moron!" the blonde muttered, slapping his forehead. "She was referring to how I'm never around! Well, that explains a bit."

He suddenly noticed a few of his students staring at him in disbelief, and realized that he had just sworn out loud to a bunch of children. "Wh-what? Bitch is a female dog!" The stares continued. "And nothing more!"

With that out of the way, Deidara made his way over to Anna, and tapped her on the shoulder, trying to place a grin on his face. "Hey, got a question for you."

Anna turned around slowly, somewhat puzzled at her boyfriends' sudden urge to speak to her. After all, the guy was a narcissist. It was probably a question about his art again. "Maybe I have an answer. Go ahead."

"Well, earlier, you said 'you would be the one to prevent your greatest hope' or something after I noted how you were the one who ended up making me go forward in life. Any chance that's related to me not being around enough or something?"

Anna tried to hide her laughter, but could not, and she burst out hysterically, causing Deidara to frown. "What, may I ask, is so funny?" he asked gruffly.

"Sorry, sorry, it's just that I realized what my mom said was true. You really are a girly man to be able to read a woman's thoughts."

This caused additional laughter among the students, and they all stopped in place, nearly rolling over uncontrollably. Deidara turned beet red from a mixture of anger and embarrassment. He spoke out loudly, pointing angrily at his laughing girlfriend. "IT'S NOT FUNNY CLASS! SHUN THE WOMAN OF LIES, HM! SHUUUUUN!"

"In any case--" Anna began, after the laughter started to die down. "--I suck at hiding my feelings anyway. You nailed it head on, Deidei."

Deidara took a deep breath, and turned around to speak, having turned his body away from the group to hide his frustration moments ago. "I did? Wait, so your greatest dream was to have me around?! What do I look like, a house wife?!"

Unfortunately for the blond artist, this too caused another uproar of laughter from his class, and he mentally smacked himself. 'I've REALLY got to stop spoon feeding them all these jokes.' he told himself.

Oddly enough, Anna wasn't laughing, but just scowling. It still seemed somewhat serious though, something Deidara could rarely detect from a scowl when the mood was so lighthearted, especially on a complex woman like Anna. "No, Deidara. I just...well, you're the artist here!" She folded her arms and began to walk forward again. "Be creative! Use your imagination or something, because I'm not telling you anything."

The blond artist sighed heavily, and ushered his still snickering class onward. "Okay..." he said to himself. "That woman officially has me stumped. And here I was thinking I really could read her mind."

"Girls are complicated, huh sempai?" said Aran, who was still standing at Deidara's side, scribbling away in his sketch pad.

Deidara rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Times like this, I wish I were--"

"DON'T EVER SAY THAT, SEMPAI!" Aran yelled, turning his full attention to his teacher. "Girls are the most beautiful and precious things on the planet! Giving them up for the latter isn't worth it! Why, if you do, then there's one less happy girl in the world and--"

"I was only going to say I wish I were at home, Aran. Sheesh."

A trickle of sweat ran down the red heads' face, and he threw his hands behind his head, laughing nervously. "Oh, uh, nevermind then."

Deidara raised an eyebrow. "What WERE you suggesting I was going to say anyway?"

A chill ran down the child's spine, and he did a double take, looking down the road at the group. "Uh--LOOK! The group is getting too far ahead of us! We'd better catch up sempai!"

Escaping conflict with his teacher, Aran scampered off after his class, leaving Deidara to shake his head in frustration. "That child will be the death of me if I don't watch it, un."

* * *

Back at the lair of the Akatsuki, located deep beneath Iwagakure, the large demonic statue began to cease the extraction ritual, the large waves of blue energy retracting into the beastly statues' mouth. The body of the Gobii Jinchuriki lay on the ground, lifeless.

"Extraction complete." Pein said in a warped voice.

"That didn't even take a day." Kakazu stated, before his astral image faded.

"Time is wasting...'Yeah, wasting'...We must be off..." Zetsu's two halves added in their usual warped tone, vanishing as Kakazu did.

"Heheh. Another fantastic display of skill, Itachi-kun." Orochimaru said in his usual creepy cackle. "If a Jinchuriki is no problem for you, I can only imagine what other things you're capable of." With that, the snake shinobi vanished as well.

Pein's astral form turned to the three remaining members. "Now then, explain to me the situation with Deidara."

Kisame began to scratch is head a bit, thinking of a way to tell the leader. "Well...we haven't gotten him yet, but we...haven't NOT got him, if that's what you're asking. He's kind of..."

"Too pleased with his life to part with it?" Pein interrupted.

Kisame nodded. "Yeah, that's it. Anyway, I don't think he'll join us too soon at this rate."

Sasori glared at Kisame with bloodshot eyes. "You mean I came all this way for absolutely nothing!? All because you two couldn't persuade some snot nosed brat to--"

"Sasori, I would advise you to cease your attack at once." the leader shouted angrily. His note of Sasori making an 'attack' caused Kisame to turn his head, suddenly noting a large steel tail with a stinger only feet from his face, dripping in a black substance.

'Honestly, I should have expected that to happen.' Kisame thought to himself, now a little disgruntled that he was almost surprised by such a basic back attack.

Sasori growled a bit, and retracted the scorpion-like tail. "Fine. But I'd better get something out of the long trip. It doesn't bode well on your heads to--"

"Rest assured, Sasori. Deidara is not out of our reach." Itachi interrupted.

"Would you two stop interrupting me?!" the hunch backed puppet master yelled, causing an echo in the cavern.

Pein shook his head, and performed a series of hand seals, causing the statue to suddenly vanish in a plume of smoke. "I'm guessing you mean, Itachi, that Deidara's decision is wavering. What measures have you taken to ensure he'll come to us then?"

Itachi stayed silent for a moment, causing both Sasori and Kisame to sweatdrop in unison. "Does he stay this quiet allot?" Sasori asked casually.

"Yep. It's pretty much like this all the time." Kisame replied, shrugging.

"I have done nothing to ensure this." Itachi said suddenly with a tone of indifference to the situation. "However, I could tell, by the weakness in his eyes, he was fearful of my words. My guess is, that given a short time, he will come to Akatsuki out of his own fear of the consequences."

"...very well. I entrust the success of this mission success in your hands." the leader said, before he too faded out of sight.

Sasori approached Itachi, and spoke in a harsh and annoyed tone. "It had better be a short time indeed, Itachi." he grunted. "I do not like to be kept waiting."

"This I know, Sasori." the Uchiha said before turning toward the exit and walking away. "Kisame, we're leaving."

Kisame followed Itachi up the large stairwell, muttering things beneath his breath, such as 'who died and made you boss'. With the extraction complete, and Akatsuki's power growing further, only one mission remained in Iwagakure. And with three members of Akatsuki in the village, things were beginning to look grim for Deidara.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Authors Note:**__What's this? ANOTHER chapter of Life is a Blast?! Somebody loves you guys. XD_

Yeah, it's official. The writers' block on this story has officially vanished. The end is nigh! Well, the end of Life is a Blast. I expect roughly 3, maybe 4 more chapters before the epilogue. 5 if my flow of ideas is really good.

Aran is my lil' buddy! Such an early age, and he already invokes the wrath of the fourth wall, gets the plot moving faster, and best of all, gives the birds and bees talk to ADULTS. XD

Sorry, no porn drawing for Aran this time. His father found his sketch pad.

Some of you may be wondering about Itachi. Trust me, his threat has not vanished. It's true Itachi did nothing out of the ordinary to Deidara, other than give him that stare...That merciless, cold stare. Ooooh, maybe Deidara will go insane from looking at the stare! Oooooh! Nah.

I decided to explain the mouths on his hands, since that wasn't explained in the manga, nor was it identified as a kekki genkai specifically, though probably was. Nay, I made it a kinjutsu curse. I like this idea better. If you're wondering about the name of the scroll, it was taken from the man behind the Superflat art phenomenon.

After Fuanna was introduced, I began to realize the importance of a lover in an artists' life, due to various comparisons, and decided to make her role bigger, and more key to Deidara. I've been avoiding turning her into a Mary Sue, and evaluated my recent turn of importance on her. I was pleased to see that she wasn't too high on the Sue scale. Only a 22. Just BARELY in the danger zone. And I've moderated her nicely, so she's fine.

Please read and review, folks! Hope you liked the short but informative flashback dream. Remember it, because it comes into play very soon.

_**Disclaimer:** I'd LIKE to own Deidara, and all mentioned characters in Naruto. Then again, I'd LIKE a million dollars. Too bad I'm broke.   
_

* * *

Several days had past since the 'field trip' to see the Bakugekiki flowers in bloom, and since then, classes had been few and far between. Deidara now had time to work on the masterpiece he promised the Tsuchikage he'd present at the upcoming festival. Even now, the blond snickered when he thought of how easy it was to get the old geezer to throw a party for practically nothing. 

Just because it was easy to make it happen didn't damper the quality of Deidara's effort. In his dedication to the project, he canceled all missions for that week that came from his Bomber-For-Hire service, and requested missions not be given to him by the village, an order that managed to be passed. Still, as Deidara looked at the gigantic mound of clay in his workshop, one would be thinking something was wrong with his 'work in progress': he hadn't actually worked on anything.

In all truth, he didn't even think about the project again until after the trip he took with his class a week ago. And the deadline was in less than a week now. The only problem Deidara was having was a creative block, and it caused him to stand before the mounds of clay for days, hands at the ready, but nothing to work on.

With only a few days remaining to complete what he claimed to the Tsuchikage to be his greatest work, he began to become quite frustrated with himself, as any of us would. "DAMN!" he yelled, smashing his fist into the wet clay. "I just can't think of anything!"

"You should try reading a book or something then, sempai." came a shrill voice from behind. This caused Deidara to jump, and flick his arms back in surprise, splashing a wad of clay smack into the face of Aran, who was standing right behind him.

"Gah! Aran, what the hell?! How did you get in here?!?"

Aran wiped the clay from his face. "The door, duh, sempai! Now I have a question for YOU. How the heck is that clay staying wet?"

Deidara did a double take, glancing between Aran and his clay, then pointed at the mound half wittily. "What? This?" Aran nodded in response. "Oh. It's a clay I work through the mouths on my hands." Deidara held up his palms to show Aran the living mouths on them, one of them having their tongue sticking out. "Before I start a clay sculpture project, I usually mold my chakra into it. That way, parts I work with will stay wet until I execute a specific hand sign."

"Cool! But um...you also mold that explosive clay with your chakra using those hands, don't you? Won't that be dangerous?"

"Pft." Deidara began working his hands through the clay, turning his back to the child. "Aran, you're by far my best student, but you've got a load to learn about someone like me. I'll have you know that I'm very careful when it comes to using clay from Mt. Rokkaku."

"Wait, isn't that the exploding kind?"

"...yes. But it's ALSO the best kind to work with." He smiled cheesily and formed a horn of some kind in the side of the mound, but frowned when it flopped down, then smashed his face into the clay in frustration. "It doesn't do me any GOOD though! I could have the greatest clay in the world and I STILL couldn't make anything worth showing off, hm!"

A little groaning noise came from his palms, and he sighed. "It's not your fault, don't give me the emo pity party!" he yelled at his hands, causing the noises to cease.

"Are you out of insiperation?"

"Insiperwha?"

"Insiperation! You know, something that gives to an idea or motivation to do something cool!"

"..." SMACK. The paper fan crashed again over the red head's noggin, and that oh so familiar vein pulsated in Deidara's forehead. "YOU MEAN 'INSPIRATION', DUMMY!"

"Ouch! Ouch! Sorry sempai!"

"Hm." Putting the paper fan away, the artist turned again towards the clay, and pondered on Aran's suggestion. "I don't have any good inspiration. I haven't been able to think about anything inspiring since the field trip I took you all on last week, un."

"Oh, because you and your wife were having a fight, huh?"

If Deidara had noticably long ears, they would be flickering right now. Did he REALLY just say what he thought he just said? Deidara grabbed the paper fan, and swiftly rose it again, turning towards Aran, who was already cowering. "Did you just call her my wife?!"

"Aiyaaaa! Deidara-sempai, it's what my dad said! Please don't hurt me!"

"Oh, I'm not gonna hurt you! No, I'm gonna MAUL you! me and her may be going out, but we most certainly aren't married! She's to damn vague for me to fully settle down with after that emotional little outburst on Saturday! Hell, if I were to propose now, it would certainly answer a hell of a lot of things she was saying and...and..." Deidara's 'fan hand' began to move, but instead of smacking Aran over the head, Deidara instead slammed it over his own head. "STUPID! THAT'S what she was all upset about!"

Aran stopped cowering, and watched his mentor walk around the room, rambling on to himself, a large bead of sweat running down the child's head. "She was upset because me and her have been going steady for a few years, and she wanted me to marry her! Wait...marriage?! But she's a friggin' tomboy! She doesn't care about girly girl things like that! And besides, she said herself she doesn't believe in the whole 'love' concept, un!"

"Women do change their minds often, sempai."

"True, true. Okay, so what do I do then? I can't just up and respond to her now that I know this and go like 'hey, Fuuanna, I know what you meant, wanna get hitched?'. Hell, I don't even think I should be talking about such a life changing decisions in such a hasty manner!"

"It's for the sake of the readers, sempai."

"Readers? Oh, whatever. In any case, what do I do?"

"Ask yourself if you'd give your life for her. If you would, then just marry her. You guys are obviously a great couple. That's what my father said!"

"Yeah, you're right! I--WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!" Deidara whirred around. "Get out of the workshop Aran!"

"Wait! I haven't given you the birds and bees talk! Okay, so when a man loves a woman, and a duck is involved in some strange way, you--"

"Go home, Aran!"

Aran timidly shut his mouth, and carefully walked out of the workshop, keeping his eyes on the hand Deidara held the fan in, and slipped out without a sound.

"Ugh. Like I'm gonna take advice from a kid, hm!" He glanced over at the clock. He should have known. It was the afternoon already. He'd pulled another all-nighter. "Son of an Onba." The artist knew that he couldn't finish anything after going without sleep again, and in combination with a conflicting choice, and walked over to the couch he set on the cleaner end of the workshop, laying down on it and yawning greatly. "Maybe some good stuff will come to me as I sleep."

As he lay there for almost an hour, staring at the ceiling fan, Deidara thought about his recent realization, unable to think about anything else for reasons he didn't understand. Slowly, with the image of Anna stuck in his head all the while, he drifted into a deep slumber.

* * *

"It hurts so much, un! Please...I want to die! Just kill me now!" cried a tearful younger teen Deidara, clenching his bleeding hands to his chest, allowing the gore to pour over his shirt.

Anna, of a similar younger age, reached for Deidara's bloody hands, and grabbed hold of his wrists, forcibly yanking them towards her. "You baka, what the hell were you thinking?! Stealing the scroll of Murakami is punishable by death!"

"I...I know, but...I had to. My hands...they're so worthless...They can't craft art worth anything. The scroll...I was told the kinjutsu inside of it could replace what the user felt...felt was most worthless, and replace it with something useful..."

"N-no! Tell me you didn't!" She pulled Deidara's hands toward her, and turned his wrists around. There, in the center of the gushing mess of blood, moving ever so slightly, were a pair of mouths, one on each hand, coughing out the former substances they replaced inside his arms. "You..." Several tears began to fall down Anna's cheeks. "Deidara, this jutsu is cursed! You...your life could be in danger! Here, let me clean these wounds up! They look really bad!" She grabbed her first aid kit from her fanny pack, and pulled out a sanitized cloth, ushering close to the hands. Just then, one of the mouths nipped at her, making a growling sound, and causing her to back off just a bit.

Taking charge of the situation, she pressed forward despite the cursed mouths attempting to take out a chunk of her flesh, and wiped off Deidaras hands, and wrapped bandages around them, much to the displeasure of the mouths. She stood up, and yanked Deidara up by the collar of his shirt. "Come on. We can't take you to the normal hospital. I'll take you to my house. My mother is a medical ninja. She'll help you."

"Th-thank you Anna. But...why were you crying just now?"

Anna's face grew slightly pale, and she began to laugh nervously. "Uh, cry? Me? No, no, I wasn't crying. Hahahaha...ho. Okay, okay, I was. But it's because I care about you. This could be really bad. Deadly even! I...I just really don't want to lose you, Deidei. I'd gladly give my life to you if it came to that."

Words could not come easily to young Deidara after this display of compassion. All he could do was nod, and say 'me to', and continue walking with Fuanna to get his wound treated.

'She would have gladly given her life for me...And I'm sure would do the same thing...'

* * *

Slowly, the blond struggled off the couch, and flopped onto the floor, standing up abruptly. He looked around the room, and casted a cocky glare at the mound of clay he had yet to turn into his greatest masterpiece yet. A smirk grace his lips, and he paced over to the mold-less mass. "I think...I was just inspired." 


	13. Chapter 13

_**Authors' Note:**__ Not much to say about this one. It's basically setting things up for the next chapter. Still, I think it's pretty decent quality. I've fully planned out the chapters to come, and let me tell you all, things are about to get critical and exciting. Almost there, folks! Read, review, and wish me luck!_

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Deidara or any characters in the Naruto universe. Also, THE CAKE IS A LIE! _

* * *

Sasori and his fellow Akatsuki members looked down from the rooftops at the bright and brimming festivities in wait, watching the people in the streets travel from stand to stand in cheer, and talk excessively to their friends and family. The festival Deidara had invoked was now at hand, making it difficult to keep an eye on the artist, and causing the already short patience of Sasori to thin even further.

"Itachi...Your tall tales are riding on my last nerve. You said he would come to us of his own will."

"Patience." Itachi said indifferently. "Your wait will not be in vain. In fact...tonight will probably the downfall of this 'artist'."

"...hmph. Not that I care about having a new partner. I honestly prefer to work solo. But I am curious as to what this kid calls 'art'."

"In that case, lets see his big presentation." muttered Itachi, turning around and walking away.

"Yeah." added Kisame. "The people of Iwagakure have been babbling on about it for two weeks now. We came all this way, so let's see it. And while we're at it, let's go grab a drink."

Sasori turned to Kisame, and shook his head in annoyance. "If I must. But we're going to hurry it up and find this Deidara kid soon. I'm going to persuade him using force if I have to, but he WILL join tonight or die."

A sweatdrop ran down Kisame's forehead. "You know, the leader is going to be angry with that statement. We're supposed to be allied with Iwagakure to a degree."

"Let him." the hunchback said, dragging himself by Kisame and walking away. "I have my own reasons for being in Akatsuki, and I can change them anytime I wish. The leader has no command over me whatsoever."

As Kisame watch Sasori vanish in a flicker, he began to wonder if he should follow the puppet master to make sure he didn't do anything irrational. Then again, he also trusted Itachi's instincts. After all, he was right about everything thus far. Why should he be wrong about this?

* * *

Meanwhile, not too far away, Deidara and Aran were spending a few last minutes preparing the stage for the presentation of his newest masterpiece. Only a few boards were left before it was worthy of presenting his greatest work of art, or so he claims. In actuality, the stage was ready to go, but due to his perfectionistic nature, Deidara just HAD to make an addition or two, going over the stage's surface with smoother wood. Aran was behind him, handing him the needed tools as he asked for them.

"Hammer ,un."

"Hammer!" Aran shouted, handing Deidara a mallet. This was followed by the loud pounding of nails, and Deidara handed the hammer back to Aran.

"Sander."

"Sander!" Aran handed Deidara a sanding brush, and the blond began to scrub away at the wooden board until dust began to fly everywhere.

"Rice ball."

"Rice ball!" Aran handed Deidara a sweet rice ball, and the artist was about to bite into it, when he stopped and noticed that a bite was taken out of it. Angered, he turned slowly to his student, whom he noticed had rice sticking to his face.

"Aran...Remember that talk we had about eating other people's food?"

"Gulp...Um, no, sempai. But it sounds--er--Really good, and I'd love to hear it!"

Deidara reached into his pocket, and pulled out the ever so familiar fan, clamping onto it tightly. "Okay then. TOUCH MY FOOD, AND YOU'LL GET A WHA--"

"He'll get a what?" came a deep and somewhat aged voice. Deidara froze when he realized that the voice belonged to none other than the Tsuchikage, and he turned around. He was right. Standing right there, with a scowl on his face, was Toriyama Akaseitoka, the 13th Tsuchikage, and the strongest shinobi in Iwagakure.

"Oh, um, Tsuchikage-sama!" Deidara tossed the fan over his shoulder and clapped his hands together, speaking nervously. "Come to preview the art, have you? You must be patient, sir. I'm afraid I never allow previews to anyone and--"

"No, no, Deidara. I actually came here to thank you." he replied in a surprisingly delighted tone. "The village seems rather happy. And a happy village is a happy Tsuchikage, I suppose."

"Hahaha. Well, I'm glad to be of service, sir!"

The Tsuchikage nodded, and turned around, walking back into the crowd of festivities. "I'll return for your presentation. Make it count now."

Deidara sighed in relief, and faced Aran again. "That was close. Okay, anyway Aran, what time is it?"

"I don't have a clock, sempai!"

"You don't have a watch?! What kind of assistant are you, hm?!"

"It's half past seven." came another voice from behind. A female one.

"Ah, thanks Anna. I--" Deidara turned again, and Anna was standing right behind him, wearing a silky dark red kimono with a bakugekiki flower design on it. "Anna! So you did make it after all!"

"Well duh, you said this was going to be your greatest work yet!"

Deidara smiled mischievously. This was perfect! Now he wouldn't have to go looking for her before the presentation. "Hehe. Well, I'm glad to hear you're not still pissy with me. At least enough to come and see this."

"Deidei, you know me. I can't hold a grudge very long. Anyway...When are you going to hold the presentation? I was about to go play some games in the mean time, and I have to open my pottery stand after you're done and all."

"Oh, um...About fifteen more minutes."

"Great." She hugged Deidara briefly, and ran off into the crowd. "I'll be there!"

The blond folded his arms and smiled, shaking his head. "She held off her pottery stand so she could watch my presentation? Wow. What a woman, eh Aran? ...Aran?" Deidara's head spun, and he spotted Aran, sleeping curled on the ground, thumb in his mouth. Deidara smiled wider, and picked the child up, placing him on the stage behind the large object which he had placed a sheet over; his masterpiece. "Rest well, kid. You've earned it, un."

* * *

"Come on...Come one...GAH!" The fish suddenly fell through the paper of the net Kisame was using, and the man at the Kingyo Sukui stand laughed.

"Geeze, you look like a shark, but you sure as hell suck as a shark!"

A cloud of gloom loomed over Kisame, and he lowered his head in shame, placing another several Ryu on the table. "Give me a few more games."

Just then, the speakers placed at various points around the festival turned on, and the obnoxious voice of the festival announcer spoke up. "Attention, attention! Deidara will be presenting his latest and greatest masterpiece in five minutes! All who wish to see its unveiling should go to the village square as soon as possible."

"Oh great. Uh...Nevermind, guy. I've got to--"

"You pay for the game, you play the game. Either that, or you leave without yer money. No refunds, buddy."

"...fuck it." Kisame grumbled, walking away from the obnoxious man.

"Hahahaha! You are by far the worst at this game I've seen! Children are better at it even!"

Kisame WANTED to rip the man's entrails out and force feed them to him through a straw, but now was not the time. Though he wished he had caught one of those goldfish, he'd have to wait to get a snack. If Itachi's instincts were correct, this would probably be the moment of truth. It was time to see the premonition powers of his partner.

* * *

"--All who wish to see its unveiling should go to the village square as soon as possible."

"Oh! Great!" Anna quickly drank the rest of her tea, and shoved the remaining dumplings on her plate into her mouth, beating her chest wildly as she tried to swallow them without choking. She got up, and rushed out of the restaurant she had been eating in. "Deidei's finest work. This I have to see."

"--All who wish to see its unveiling should go to the village square as soon as possible."

"Hmph. I'd better go and see if this kids' 'art' is even worth being called that." Sasori grumbled, dragging himself through the streets toward the village square.

A child carelessly ran into him, and fell back on the ground. "Oops, sorry mister!"

Sasori responded by shooting a bloodshot stare at the child. "Watch where you're going, brat!" he growled.

The child looked as though he was about to cry, and jumped to his feet, scurrying away in tears.

* * *

"--All who wish to see its unveiling should go to the village square as soon as possible."

Itachi said nothing when this message played, and turned silently to the village square. The moment of truth. At last, the mission was at its end.

* * *

Deidara looked out at the sea of faces, holding back the joyful laughter he wanted to belt out. Squealing girls, chatterbox hags, and attentive men. The essence of a village, all in one setting. To him, there was nothing quite like a crowd. 

He walked to the edge of the stage, and cleared his throat. "YOUR ATTENTION! Everyone! I'm VERY glad you could all make it here today, because as you all know, this is my finest work yet! But more importantly than that..." Deidara lowered his head and laughed softly. This line was so cheesy, he thought, but needed to be said. Slowly, he rose his head, and with a great and sincere smile that seemed to beam across the masses of people, completed his statement.

"This is a work of art that will change my life forever."


	14. Chapter 14

_**Authors' Note:**__ I changed a few points at the last minute, making Itachi seem kind of fickle. But the special scene in this chapter wouldn't have worked otherwise, so please play along. Not that it's a major continuity error, but it does seem the slightest bit out of character._

_This chapter was particularly difficult for me to write, but I'm glad I got it done in time to keep up my consistent streak of submissions. The quality seemed like my good stuff to me I guess. Hope you all enjoy the chapter. Just two left after this, and the final one is set to be the most powerful and moving of them all._

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own Deidara or Naruto universe characters. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to claim ownership of some Bleach characters._

* * *

Deidara looked out at the sea of faces, holding back the joyful laughter he wanted to belt out. Squealing girls, chatterbox hags, and attentive men. The essence of a village, all in one setting. To him, there was nothing quite like a crowd.

He walked to the edge of the stage, and cleared his throat. "YOUR ATTENTION! Everyone! I'm VERY glad you could all make it here today, because as you all know, this is my finest work yet! But more importantly than that..." Deidara lowered his head and laughed softly. This line was so cheesy, he thought, but needed to be said. Slowly, he rose his head, and with a great and sincere smile that seemed to beam across the masses of people, completed his statement.

"This is a work of art that will change my life forever." Deidara looked around in the crowd for a moment, trying to seek Anna out. After all, this was more for her than anything.

Suddenly, he spotted her. A little ways off from the front row, and fighting through the masses of people to get closer. "'scuse me! Coming through!" she yelled as she finally made it to the front, and straightened herself up, smiling at her boyfriend.

"Heh. Glad you could make it, Anna." Deidara said suddenly into the microphone.

Anna felt a wave of embarrassment hit her, and wanted to fall back a bit into the crowd. But she soon found herself looking at Deidara, smiling, and extending a hand to her. "Come on up here."

A mass of 'aws' came from the crowd, and some pouting from Deidara's fan club as well. The potter was on the stage, standing next to her boyfriend and staring into the gathering of villagers. She wasn't a big crowd person, and the attention made her face turn pink. "Deidei..." she whispered. "Is...is this really necessary. You know I have stage fright."

"Yeah, I do." he said away from the microphone. "That's why I'm doing it. Trust me, you're going to like this one. And besides, I'm a natural with crowds."

The blond turned once more to the citizens of Iwagakure, and held the microphone close to his face. "Time to get this speech over with, un. Now, years ago during my rogue prankster days, I wasn't exactly everyones' favorite kid. You all know the story of the graffiti I pained all over the front gates, right? Tsuchikage-sama was fuming about it for months, so if you don't, you must be foreign." Though an unintentional pun, the crowd laughed none-the-less.

"I have thanked you all for forgiving my pinheaded antics when I was a kid. The thanks I've shown this brilliant and powerful village of ours over the years has been my astonishing works, and my remarkable service to Iwagakure's military might. Heck, you all wouldn't be here at this festival if not for my swift and flashy destruction of the Village Hidden in the Crasm...or Mountain Crack...who really cares anyway, un? They're cave dust now! Anyway, my first work I ever submitted, and I remember this well--"

* * *

Not to far from the stage, Itachi stood against a building wall, watching the event unfold intently. Kisame came from around the corner, and stood next to his partner, taking a moment to process the situation. "So...This where the guy is gonna lose it all?"

"Yes."

"Ah, good. Um...bit of a question, Itachi. He seems to know what he's doing, and seems kinda cheerful right now. How do you figure he's going to snap here? Is the Sharingan able to see into the future."

For once, Itachi took a deep breath, and spoke for more than one sentence. "Some would think. The Sharingan has a powerful ability to predict movement. However, it can hardly predict the future as a whole. No, Deidara will be his own downfall tonight because he IS in his prime. I could tell from the way he looked at me that day."

Itachi closed his eyes, then jolted them open, the pupils suddenly becoming red, with a tri-comma look to them. "Deidara fears me, and my presence tonight will see to it that he ends his own success. Then, he will have two choices. And the latter isn't something a man like him would have the nerve to do."

"The latter being? ...no wait, the options being?"

"...he either joins us, or dies right there."

"...oh. Man, Itachi, you're more impressive than I gave you credit for. So wait, I have one last question for you. That one time you came back from talking to the guy all short of breath. You used that other Sharingan to cast a genjutsu on him, didn't you?"

"How many times must I say this, Kisame? I have not tampered with his mind. Not once. However, I won't deny that I used the Mangyeko Sharingan. I wanted to ensure my suspicions were correct." He looked over the crowd, and spotted Sasori approaching the stage slowly. "But I see my suspicions weren't going to apply fast enough." Itachi got off the wall and began to walk towards the stage.

"Wait, hang on a second! What exactly is going to happen, Itachi?!"

* * *

"...and the events that I experienced while growing up were inspiring to my most recent work, 'Child of Stone', which was more or less a self sculpture that was put in the shrine my fan club built for me out of their delightful obsession."

Despite the length of his speech, everyone seemed to be engaged by it. Well, other than poor Anna, who had been standing there, frozen and wondering what she was even doing there.

"But today, I give you a masterpiece that was inspired by this wonderful woman right here." Deidara put his right arm around the blushing Anna, who couldn't move even still, and turned darker shades of red. "Anna is the reason I'm still alive today, I must add, and she once told me she'd gladly give her life for me. That's why this work, although simple, is a display of how mutual my feelings are."

Anna's ears perked up, and she turned her head towards Deidara, who snickered confidently. "Anna, you don't know the half of it quite yet, but you will in a moment." The artist let go of his girlfriend, and walked over to the 'masterpiece', still under covers. "The title of this work is inspired by the feelings Anna has engraved into my artistic heart. These words, simple like the work, are something I want the people of Iwagakure to remember forever. LIFE...IS A BANG!"

Deidara yanked the tarp off of the giant sculpture, and awe followed the moment his masterpiece was revealed. A statue of two hands holding, in the usual superflat style Deidara was so famous for. Simple enough, and something that was probably easy for Deidara to make. However, one thing stood out more than the hands themselves that instantly captivated the village, especially Anna. One of the hands looked as though it had just finished placing a ring upon the other hand, and many knew what that meant.

Deidara whispered to Anna. "Read the writing on the ring, un. It's...kinda my way of saying the message."

Nervously, Anna got closer to the sculpture, and read the kanji engraved on the clay ring. "Marry me... ..." She smiled, and turned to Deidara, punching him on the arm.

"OUCH! What the hell was that for!"

"Heh. Nothing. It's just that you took so long, that's all." Suddenly, she clung on tightly to the arm she had just punched. Suddenly, Deidara reached into his pocket with his free hand, and pulled out a ring, placing it on Anna's finger, in the same way the sculpture did. "I had to find the right inspiration, I suppose."

* * *

From the crowd, a certain hunchback puppet master grunted in discontent. "That is his art? It's pathetic. And his 'title' is inappropriate for the situation. The brat doesn't know what true art really is, apparently. Hm?" Suddenly, he noticed Itachi moving through the crowd, closer to the stage. "What is Itachi up to, I wonder."

* * *

"Deidara is a mental case." Itachi stated to Kisame, not caring that villagers were listening in. "A weak genjutsu can get the best of him instantly in this situation."

"Ah. But wait, you said you weren't going to do anything."

"I wasn't." Itachi's head turned around and he looked over at where Sasori was standing. "But Sasori will if I do not. His impatience is going to blow Akatsuki's cover."

"Hmph. Typical. The guy must have termites up his ass. He's been so damn impatient."

"I even admit this has taken awhile. But circumstances call for a change in tactics. I will only use a short ranged genjutsu, and this will be over before Sasori can act."

"Sasori doesn't really seem like the type to make an irrational move."

"Normally, he isn't. He waited patiently for his chance to murder his own Kazekage, and that accounts for much. But the situation is different." Itachi stopped walking, and began to channel his chakra into his right hand. He looked at Deidara intently, and pointed at him, bolting a powerful genjutsu directly at the artist. "Now then, time to prey on his fear of me, and finish this mission."

* * *

The cheers and whistles for the newly engaged artists made their embrace strengthen, but suddenly, Deidara backed off and held onto his head in pain. "Argh! Wh-what the?!"

"Deidei, what's wrong?!"

The blond took a deep breath, and wiped his forhead. "S-sorry, headache. Haha--Wh-what?!" Deidara's face went pale when he looked into the crowd of people, and he began to tremble in fear. "N-no. No! I told you to keep away!" Nothing had changed about the crowd, but in Deidara's eyes, they all appeared to have taken the form of...Itachi. Deidara staggered backwards, completely freaking out and holding his face. "S-stay back! I'm w-warning you!"

A hand grabbed his hands off his face, and he looked to the side, expecting to see Anna. However, due to the genjutsu, he could not see Anna, and rather, the form of Itachi had taken her place. "Deidara, you're starting to scare me. Please tell me you're alright."

* * *

Behind the uncovered sculpture, Aran stirred from his slumber, woken by his teachers' outburst. "S-sempai?!" The red head stumbled off the side of the stage, and crawled back on top of it, peeking around the corner of the statue to see what was going on. When he saw Deidara in his state of insanity, trying to escape the grip of his own woman, Aran knew something bad was going on.

And when Deidara threw Anna to the ground and stood up, assuming the detonation hand sign, it was official. Deidara had cracked. "SEMPAI, NO!"

"I TOLD YOU TO KEEP AWAY!" the hysterical artist shouted at Anna and the crowd, now all fearful of Deidara's next action which they all knew was coming.

"Deidara, stop this! Please!" Anna shouted. She was now aware that getting away from him was the best option, but she just couldn't leave him like this. She could only back up against the sculpture he had made for her, and pray he would stop this in a moments' time.

"SHUT UP! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO ENDANGER MY SHINING MOMENT! THIS TIME, I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU OUT! KA--"

"SEMPAI!" Aran suddenly jumped on Deidara's back and hung on to his arm that was performing the seal, trying to cancel the jutsu. At the exact moment he did, time seemed to freeze. A split second of silence followed, and then...


	15. Chapter 15

_**Authors Note:**__ Almost done. This fic has officially taken a dark turn, ne?_

A few things I want to go over. The only reason I put that burining palm thing was not only to note that the Tsuchikage knew about Deidara's thievery, but also to foreshadow a later fic of mine, where this ability is explored. It's a seal-less ninjutsu, much like Rassengan, but that's all I'll say. You'll have to wait to see more if you're interested. Just wanted to note that, just in case you're like 'what was the point of a burning palm? Why not a kunai?'.

Secondly, I made Deidara Buddhist for three reasons. The culture of Naruto is heavily based on western religion, and Iwagakure seemed like the type of village to comprise of Buddhists as opposed to Konoha, who viewed their ancestors as gods. Deidara also made a reference to a popular Buddhist saying when Tobi was first introduced. It's unlikely that a non-Buddhist would use such a phrase if they weren't. The third reason is this, BUT IT'S A SPOILER! DON'T READ THE NEXT SENTENCE IF YOU DON'T LIKE SPOILERS! When Deidara met Akatsuki in the manga, he was seen in what appeared (to me at least) to be a Buddhist temple.

Then again, I don't see Deidara as the religious type. I do, however, believe what was said. In a time of mighty crisis, even Atheists turn to a religion they are familiar with.

Now then, one last thing. The next chapter is bound to be a long one. I'm taking extra care in making sure I go out with a bang...er...you know what I mean. Anyway, read, review, rinse, and lather, peeps!

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Deidara or any characters in the Naruto universe. I also do not own Buddha. I make it priority not to claim copyrighted deities._

* * *

Deidara awoke several minutes later, feeling as though he had been hit by a truck. His body was so sore that he could barely move at all. While his vision came to a focus, he tried to realize what had just happened, and make sense of it all. First, he was proposing to Anna, and then...he showed up. But there...there were too many for it to be real. But it couldn't have been a genjutsu; he hadn't made eye contact with anyone in particular.

The blur across his eyes assumed the form of feet. Several feet, surrounding his line of sight. The smell of gunpowder and clay filled the air, and he could hear the chatter of people coming from all directions. He struggled for control over his body, and hoisted himself off the ground, only to have someone yank him up by his shirt. Before he could tell the person to get off of him, he was starting face to face with the Tsuchikage.

"You son of a bitch." the Tsuchikage grumbled at Deidara, throwing him onto the ground with a look of intense hatred. "Do you realize what your display of insanity has done!" Toriyama threw his right arm back, and pointed to the stage, which was almost twenty feet behind him, and busted up as though a small but potentially lethal explosion had...no.

Deidara stood up, ignoring Toriyama's rant, despite his Kage rank. He didn't care anymore. What had just happened? One moment ago it seemed...bliss...then fear. None of it made sense. Did he really lose control of himself? Did he...really...

"ANNA!" Deidara bolted towards the ruins of the stage, though his charge was almost instantly stopped when the ANBU shinobi surrounded him. Two of them had to grab Deidara's arms, and another two grappled him from moving any further. The blond tried to press forward, but the strength of four ANBU was too much, and he was thrown back headfirst, smashing against the pavement, just as tears began to fall from his eyes.

"N-no...Please...Tsuchikage-sama...Tell me Anna is alright...PLEASE!" He turned around on his chest, and grabbed on to his leader's foot, face covered in tears. "P-PLEASE! TELL ME SHE'S ALRIGHT! I'M BEGGING YOU!"

The Tsuchikage shifted his head to the side, as though not to look at him, and spoke grimly. "Begging me isn't going to bring her back."

Just then, horror fell across Deidara's face. He let go of Toriyama, and covered his hand over his face, yelling in agony. "NO!!! THAT...THAT CAN'T BE TRUE! ANNA! SHE CAN'T BE GONE!"

Toriyama scoffed and kicked Deidara in the back of the head, sprawling his face across the ground. "You sicken me, thinking that SHE was the only one? You are a fool, Deidara! Your dangerous 'art' has hurt one more person! MY SON!"

On the ground, Deidara cringed at these words. Another person, hurt by his art? This was too much for him to take.

"Though he is alive, he took most of the force, and is in critical care right now! You have endangered my village, my people, and most of all, my son. For anyone else, this would mean extreme torture for days on end, and then a slow and painful death. This is a cataclysm that this village will never forget, and trust me, I am sure that even those who were fans of yours would wish the ultimate death upon you." He began to walk away from Deidara, still talking in the same harsh tone. "However, your services to this village have been more than valuable. Instead of death, I will only banish you. You have lost all rights to set foot in Iwagakure as of now, and by weeks end, you will no longer be allowed in the Land of Earth altogether. Do I make myself clear?"

Deidara could not answer. His mind was still trying to process the weight of the situation. Two people he cared about, he had brought harm to with his own art. His only love, whom he had known since childhood and only just then had the mind to ask for her hand in marriage, and his pupil, who had done nothing but devote himself to him and the arts. One was dead. One would probably never forgive him. What was the point in going on? All he had left now...were the arts. The same thing that brought this misfortune upon him.

Toriyama did not like Deidara ignoring him, and stormed over to the blond, yanking him off the ground and facing at him eye level by his long hair. "DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, I ASKED!"

Deidara barely moved his head vertically the slightest bit, then again, as though he was nodding. Toriyama brutally threw his head back down to the pavement by his hair. "You have a single hour to leave the village. The ANBU will escort you in the gates. Remember, out of the village tonight, and out of the country by week's end. If our ninja ever see you again, you'll see what a REAL blast is."

As Toriyama said this, he rose his hand up, and it was suddenly engulfed in a powerful red fire. Deidara, who's face was now level enough to see his angered village leader, saw the flame, and remembered seeing this only once in his lifetime. When he had stolen the scroll of Murakami, it didn't take long for the Tsuchikage to find out, and the village leader had threatened to use this jutsu on him if he made one more mistake. He never found out what the jutsu was, even now, because Toriyama allowed the flame to die out, and walked away, leaving two ANBU behind.

It seemed like a nightmare. There's no way at all someone's life could fall apart this fast. None! This was a nightmare! But when the two ANBU hoisted him off the ground and forced him to stand on his feet and walk, he could feel it. Their angered grip, and the weight of his own body. He could hear it. The sound of their vicious demands, and the fearful gasps of the people who were still around. And most of all, he could feel it. The pain of loss, the dreadful sensation that the people he cared about most were forever gone to him.

* * *

A little while after, not far from Iwagakure's main gates, three shadows loomed patiently in the light of the moon, watching the smoke rise from the villages center. From atop one of the many cliffs surrounding the Rock Village, no one could see them, and after what had just happened, it was better they weren't in the village to catch wind of paranoia.

"Heheheh. Itachi, I am impressed." Sasori chuckled in a deep voice. "And you said you were going to let things play out."

"I was." the Uchiha responded solemnly. "But knowing you, you were about to act upon your impatience."

"Hm. You should know me better then." retorted Sasori. "No matter how impatient I get, I never act without it being the right time. Even you know that it wasn't the right time for a person of my abilities to do anything."

"Then...why were you approaching the stage?" Kisame asked.

The hunchbacked puppet master grunted. "Why else? I wanted to get a closer look at the guys art. Then again, you can't call something like that art. You two should give me more credit as a shinobi."

Itachi lowered his head, and smirked just the slightest bit. "Then I suppose I made an error in judgment. Very well. I'm still new to this organization, so I will make sure it never happens again."

Kisame blinked rapidly. "Wait a second. What happened to your sinister attitude that you had? That know it all complex? Looks like I misjudged you too, Itachi. Heh." Kisame folded his arms. "Maybe we should both try and give more credit to Akatsuki, eh?"

"If I must." Itachi looked down and stared at the village. Once, Iwagakure was a village he, as an ANBU, had seen as a great foe. Even though he had thrown away his old life, ruining the life of one of this villages' greatest shinobi should have given him a little satisfaction. The manner he did it in did not please him for some reason. He wasn't weak, and didn't like to attack indirectly. This was what cowards did. Before Deidara at long last joined, Itachi would have to settle this right, to satisfy himself.

"Well then, what's our next move then?" asked Kisame.

A moment passed with no reply, and Sasori suddenly spoke up. "This Deidara kid was banished, from what the women of the village were gabbing on about earlier. He seems popular with the women, even as a psychotic murderer."

"Then he'll have no choice but to find shelter and rest soon." Kisame said. "Other than when he rests, we can talk to him when he is in a time of extreme weakness. After all, he DID just have his life ruined. We can either find him now, when he is probably traveling and weary...Or we wait until he's able to resist, but emotionally distressed, which we don't know WHAT he's feeling from all this. What will we do, Itachi?"

"Why is Itachi the one you ask?" Sasori grumbled. "He's already proven to misjudge too easily."

"No, Sasori. Trust me on this. We will see him tomorrow. This turn of events has left Deidara a broken man, easily. What do broken men do?"

"Eh. You know I don't like stupid questions, Itachi. Just answer so we can go on."

"They pray, of course." Itachi replied. "Those with some sliver of faith to begin with, regardless of how strong or weak it is, will seek its comfort in a time of crisis."

"Oh? And tell me, do you even know what religion this Deidara is?"

"Partially, he's Buddhist. Or at least I would gather from the Buddhist statue he had in his workshop. His faith in it is mostly from his cultural surroundings, however, he will seek to pray. This is when we will appear before him. And we will show him that if he does not join Akatsuki...he doesn't have a prayer."


	16. Chapter 16

**_Note from Thine Author:_**_I think this is my longest fic chapter ever. I'm not sure._

Anyway, contains spoilers, so be warned. AND SO DOES THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT! 

[spoiler start I took chapter 359 of the manga as the basis of the Deidara meets Akatsuki again scene. Most of the actions and dialog are in tact, and I even added something here or there.[spoiler end

_ Deidara's feelings of confusion and loss become a passion for revenge, ne? I had actually pre-written a lot of this chapter last week, but I never found inspiration to finalize it UNTIL...!!!_

BUM BUM BUM!

A HUGE effing thunderstorm hit my town last week, and I wrote the entire 'Deidara goes insane and steals the scroll' scene DURING, getting the BEST inspiration of a dramatic scene in the storm I've ever had!

I know this fic was funny at first, but the end was bound to be dramatic and sad. I still managed to squeeze teeeeeeny tiny humor bites into the story, though.

There is an epilogue, but I don't know how I'm going to write it, so be patient. XD

Hopefully you all enjoyed the story. For the most part, yeah, it's over. VV But I had a good time writing it. You could say...it was a blast!

PS: The translation of Aran's jutsu is roughly "Lava Style: Impact Magma Bomb". Youganton is part of Aran's kekki genkai, which utilizes earth and fire to create a powerful offensive and defensive attack. He'll be in a later fic, with this story applying, so yeah, it WAS important. 

_**Disclaimer:**__ Okay, this time, I am NOT going to ruin the mood with a witty disclaimer. Ahem. I do not own Deidara or any Naruto related characters...but I do own you! ...shit, I keep doing that!_

* * *

"Deidara, honestly! You're never home anymore, are you? I even told you beforehand I was coming back to the village!"

"A-anna! I had to do a job, un!"

"Hmph. Well, whatever the case, I guess you got here in good enough time. I still wonder though, what kind of job keeps a person out of the village FOR FIVE DAYS?! I had to rent a hotel room because you didn't even bother leaving a key to the door!"

"B-but Anna, I--"

"And one more thing." Anna suddenly stopped yelling, and threw her arms around Deidara. "I missed you so much." 

* * *

"She missed me then, sure." Deidara mumbled to himself in a tone of deep depression, haunted yet again by the ghosts of his past. "I wonder how she would have felt...If she knew I'd murder her one day."

Two days ago, Deidara was banished from Iwagakure. Since those two days, he walked aimlessly into the land of earth. It was only a matter of days before he became public enemy number one, but his feelings wouldn't allow him to stave off the beaten path.

That night, he felt broken in so many ways. Torn from his life, and never able to get them back. He didn't even care about the village anymore. He just wanted a way to make things right. Though this was impossible. No amount of art or power could undo the damage.

Ever since he heard those grim words from the Tsuchikage, of Anna's death, and Aran's injury, there was this horrifying pain deep inside him. It wasn't physical, but...it still hurt. Loss and heartache were likely the cause, he concluded.

Once, when he was in the Iwagakure Ninja Academy, he remembered hearing of an age old shinobi saying. 'Those with weak hearts are unable to find the power to become great'. A weak heart...It's what he had, but remembering this quote did nothing for him. It would have been more useful if he knew a quote that could help him eliminate this weakness.

That previous night, one of the kunai he held with him looked...inviting. But he couldn't bring himself to end his own life. Something was holding him back. Was it his own cowardice? Or maybe...he still held something dear to him.

The arts. Maybe they were the only thing binding his will to live. But what good was it to live with such a pain. He couldn't stand it, and it made him so confused. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?" he yelled suddenly in the middle of the pathway. Birds in nearby trees flew away in clusters, as his cry of anguish echoed across the valley where he walked.

"It doesn't make a bit of difference how much I think about this, un! Argh!" The blond kicked a stone lodged in the dirt, knocking it into the air, right before falling to the ground, and pounding his fist to the earth. "There's no point! So why the fuck am I still brooding over it!? What's done is done! Why can't I...why can't I just...forget?"

After a few moments, Deidara stood up, and glared at the road ahead. Cast into the outside world with a weakened disposition. No means of protection save for the bags of clay at his side, and the kunai knife in his pockets. Was he going to be alright this time?

* * *

Light peered in through the curtains of the hospital room Aran rested in, and for the first time in days, the red haired child awoke, cringing at the pain from his sudden movements. "Ack! Ouch, this sucker hurts!" He looked at his left arm. It was completely bandaged, but from the stains of red he could see, his arm was busted open. But how?

"Oh, crap! I remember!"

"Remember what, son?" The Tsuchikage suddenly walked into the hospital room. "Are you feeling okay?"

Aran turned to his father and nodded. "Mhm. I'm okay. But...what about sempai? Is he--"

"Hmph. Deidara has been banished for what he did to you, son. Don't worry. He will never hurt you ever again."

Aran's eyes widened. "Wh-what?!? Father, you can't be serious! You banished Deidara-sempai?! How could you?!"

Toriyama's previously kindred face suddenly became stern, and he began to raise his voice in anger. "Not another word about it, Aran. Regardless of what you may think of him, the guy was a madman. He is lucky I am a man of honor and gave him the chance to live for his deeds to our village, but he is far too dangerous to be kept around. Especially around my first born son!"

This time, it was the eight year olds' turn to speak above his father. "FATHER, LISTEN TO YOURSELF! You are just being a stupid douche, thinking that the greatest person on the planet is a psycho?! Did you even look into this stuff at all?!?"

"Aran, don't you talk to me that way. I am your father, and you will speak to me with honor and res--"

"I DON'T HONOR BAKAS!"

His son's outburst was retorted with a mighty blow, right across his face. The impact gave him the incentive to silence himself at that moment, but his words didn't fade. Rather than cry, he stared his own father in the face, as if to relay his message in silence.

"I don't expect you to understand, since you aren't even a graduate of the academy yet, but I will lay down the law here and now." Toriyama's voice suddenly became harsher, and his face scrunched into a piercing scowl, causing Aran's own glare to break, and for him to back off in fear as his father ushered close to his face. "The Tsuchikage is the law of Iwagakure. Anything I say is written in stone. Others may abuse this power, but I do it to protect the ungrateful people like you. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! I AM THE LAW!"

Aran was too paralyzed with fear to answer verbally, and merely nodded. Without another word, his angered father got out of his face, and walked out of the door, slamming it with so much force that the ceiling shook.

Aran turned his head towards the window. A storm was apparently on its way, due to the black horizon. It was an omen, he was certain. "Deidara-sempai...I never even got to show you my latest drawing..."

* * *

It was only a matter of time before he had come across one. Not even an hour later, Deidara had come across a Buddhist temple. An old one at that. The blond looked up into the sky, and noticed that the weather was about to take a turn for the worse. But even that wasn't the reason he began to walk up the stone stairs. Though he was never a religious man, the thought of some sort of comfort in his darkest times, however small and insignificant it was to him, compelled him to enter the large red doors.

The inside of the temple, however, was dark, and empty. Normally, there were monks inside these things, weren't there? "Hello?" he called out. "Anyone here?" Not even the chirping of a cricket. To him, this was a good thing, he guessed. He wasn't big on prayer, and didn't want to offend anyone by doing anything wrong. Not only that, but praying, at least to Deidara, seemed like a sign of weakness. Maybe it was that very opinion that kept him from being a man of faith. Maybe it was also the opinion that kept these dreadful events from lightening the burden placed upon his shoulders.

Even through the pitch blackness, he could see the brilliant architecture. The statues gleamed bright gold, even in the little amount of light that invaded the room from outside. Though it wasn't prayer or anything of a sort, it made him feel more comfortable. Perhaps, he figured, this was why people prayed at temples.

"It's magnificent, is it not?" came a deep, raspy voice from the blackness.

Deidara whipped his head around, scanning the room. He couldn't feel anyones' presence there. Just then, the lanterns that hung from the ceiling began to light up on their own, one by one, giving a tiny bit of light to the room with each small blaze. Slowly, three figures in black cloaks were revealed in the fire light. Two whom he recognized as Itachi and Kisame. And a shorter one, whom he had never previously seen.

The blond backed down a bit when he saw Itachi. He would never forget that face for a moment. Those cold, heartless eyes. It was almost as if, even now, he was gazing into his mind, seeking every means of intimidation he could find, and was using that knowledge all at once. A genjutsu user for certain, and no doubt responsible for that incident the other night. The one who ruined his life.

Deidara knew that he had to play it cool. If he showed no fear, maybe, just maybe, he could intimidate them and get them to finally leave him alone. Acting, too, was also an art. Standing up straight, the artist took a deep breath, and spoke in the most confident tone he could muster. "So, Akatsuki you say? Is that the name of this organization you guys keep begging me to join?"

Kisame nodded. "Yeah. And since you don't have much place else to go, maybe you should just join us."

Deidara changed his tone to sound more angry, even though being in front of these three terrified him. He knew that if they decided to attack, he would be dead in a minute. "Like hell if I care about that. Just leave me alone, and don't interfere with my enjoyment of art ever again."

"Enjoyment of art, you say?" Itachi said. "And here we thought you came here to seek divine aid of some sort. I suppose looking at statues can be comforting as well though."

The short one, who Deidara now recognized as the voice that called out from the dark, began to speak to Itachi. "So, I really have to make this brat my partner? He's got spunk, but from what I can see, he is the kind who ends up getting himself killed before you know it."

Itachi shrugged. "It's the leader's orders. His abilities will serve our cause."

"Hmph." retorted Sasori. "The kid wouldn't last ten hours. I don't see why the leader even bothered. Looking into his abilities."

"There's something that bugs me." said Deidara. "You people know about my abilities already? Who the hell are you anyway? Only those who have ties with Iwagakure could even get a hold of my basic profile, let alone know my abilities."

It was Kisame's turn to reply again. "You have been involved in anti-nationalist terrorist cells in surrounding countries, causing a number of explosions, correct? Well, we just so happen to get word on power like that quickly, and let's just say we have our means of looking into people we seem interested. Tell me, though, for what reason would a rogue ninja like yourself do such things?"

Deidara folded his arms and rolled his eyes. "Reason? Why would I need one of those? I merely take on contracts to blow things up. With my art, that is, hm."

Sasori raised his attention to the blond. "Your 'art'?"

The blond was finding it difficult to stay calm in this situation. Three guys that could easily kill him, and one that he wanted to take out himself. Seeing this as a window of oppourtunity for him to at least have his revenge, he reached his hand into the clay pouch, and began working the clay into the form of a deformed chubby spider with paper thin legs, and pulled it out for the trio to see. With any luck, an opening would be provided.

"Behold! Aren't you impressed? The product pursuing refined line-work matched with two-dimensional deformation! Hm! Now this is art! But my art doesn't end here. None of my works are static. When they have physical form, they're little more than models, hm! But they explode, too! And with that explosion, its essence is propelled to greatness, at that moment becoming the true work of art I intended!" He rose his right arm, showing the mouth on his palm to them. "And it's in that fleeting moment of grandeur that I see true art, hm! Art is a bang!"

Even though he was looking for a chance to nail the Itachi guy, he half expected them to be impressed by his speech. Perhaps, even in this time of depression, he still retained a shred of his former self. Still, when he looked at the trio rolling their eyes and turning every which way, a vein pulsated in his head.

"Damn, he's annoying." Sasori grumbled.

"Is he done now?" Kisame asked.

"Who knows?" replied Itachi.

"Grr...Listen, you ignorant tasteless barbarians, I don't care who you are, but I'll blow each and every one of you to kingdom come if you--" He quivered a bit when he saw Itachi step forward.

"Enough already." the black haired man said. "I'll take care of this." At that moment, the Uchiha closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again, chills went down Deidaras' spine. Those eyes. The tri comma markings again.

Still trying to put on his act, Deidara assumed a combat ready stance, extending his arm out. 'What ARE these eyes?' he thought to himself, gathering his courage. Perhaps killing Itachi here and now would soothe the pain he was feeling. "You want to fight ME?! Well don't underestimate me or my art! My ninjutsu is the very pinnacle of artistic accomplishment, hm!"

"If I defeat you...Then you WILL join Akatsuki."

Deidara reached behind his back with his other hand, and grabbed a handful of clay, working it into the shape of a centipede, then having it spring to life, and burrow into the ground behind his leg, and out of sight. Then, using the clay spider he had formed earlier, he threw it directly at Itachi as fast and hard as he could. Itachi responded in a most unusual way, though it worked out for him. The Uchiha actually took a wide leap backwards, making him soar back into a wall.

'Ha. This guy is shitty at fighting, it looks like.' thought Deidara, bringing his hands to his face, and sending a surge of chakra to the clay spider, now within a mere two feet of his enemy. 'Those mind tricks are all he has going for him. Rotten loser.'

The explosion went off, and covered his view of Itachi. For a moment, he thought he had him beat. But there was still movement from within the cloud of flames. Sure enough, Itachi burst out of the explosion from the sides, almost skidding on the wooden floor of the temple. He took control of his stance, and looked at Deidara.

The blond smirked again. Now he had him. From beneath the floorboards, the clay centipede burst forth, and wrapped itself around the Uchiha's left leg. "Is that all you've got?!" Deidara taunted. 'Game over, hm!!'

Itachi began to struggle as the centipede put him further in its grip, wrapping all around his body. But oddly enough, the fiend was smiling. "You...should take a look at yourself first."

"What do you mean, I--" Just then, the artist realized what Itachi was talking about. He too felt bound, and looked down at his body to see what was wrong. His own clay centipede had ended up wrapping around him. But how? It was around Itachi and--Itachi was no longer standing in the place he was a moment ago?

"That was a close call." said Kisame. "You were just about to blow yourself up."

Sasori muttered under his breath. "Like I said, he's going to get himself killed in no time."

"Genjutsu?!?" exclaimed Deidara. "When did you manage to--"

"From the very start." Kisame interrupted. "You were bound by the illusion from the moment you looked into Itachi's eyes."

A light began to shine on the side of Deidara's face, and he turned towards the wall Itachi had previously jumped into. It was utterly demolished between two statues, and standing in it, shaping the flow of light into the room, was Itachi, who murmered something out loud to the stunned artist.

"This is...Art." he said.

Deidara suddenly lost the will to command the centipede, and the clay creation fell limp onto the ground. He held his hand to his face to hide the sudden wave of frustration, now turning his face red in anger and shame. Itachi was mocking him. 'How could I be called out by someone elses' abilities like this? You're telling me this...is art?! Spare me. I won't admit it. Ever!!'

"You've lost."

Deidara fell to the ground again, unable to cope with what had just happened. Now, even the supremacy of his artistic talent was stolen from his life. And again by Itachi. Damn him to hell.

Itachi pointed over to Kisame, and ushered for him to follow. The two then walked out of the temple. "Sasori, you can take the floor from here." Kisame said. "He's all yours."

The puppet master scoffed, and walked over to Deidara, who was still maddened on the floor. "I don't care much for you already. But I must know now. Are you in? Or are you out?"

Too much to bear. Nothing was ever going to be the same again. Itachi had ruined his life, and he didn't even have the power to kill him. But maybe, just maybe, if he did join with Akatsuki, he would have his chance again. If he didn't join, however...he may never have the chance to fight Itachi again, and claim vengeance for what he did. With this weakened heart, though...how much could he actually do?

Just then, something inside of Deidara snapped, and he began to degrade his thoughts into maliciousness. There was a way to become stronger. Then, he would join Akatsuki, and kill Itachi once and for all. He looked up at Sasori, and nodded to him. "I...am in. However...there is one final thing I want to take care of back in my village."

* * *

Back in the hospital, Aran tried and failed to get to sleep. The lights were out, and for the most part, the hall was quiet, but the storm outside was horrifying and loud. It had to be the worst he had seen in his life, and in a mountain region, storms were few and far between. Beyond that even, Aran hated the rain. It made him feel scared to hear the drops pounding at his window.

Moments after the last crack of lightning, the door to the room opened, and Aran's father walked in again. "They said you shouldn't move for awhile because of your injuries, but you can come home."

Aran slowly turned to his father and nodded. Toriyama was just about to say something else, when another Iwa nin walked in the door. "Tsuchikage-sama! Deidara was spotted within the village limits! Not only that, but he took out several of the border guardsmen!"

Toriyama turned his back on his son, and spoke in a panic at the ninja. "What?!? Tell me, where is he headed?!"

"The Shrine of Murakami!"

Aran's eyes widened. Deidara was in the village limits, but...he was attacking the villagers?! Something terrible was happening. The youth looked towards the stormy window and gulped, struggling to rise himself out of bed and stealthily open the window.

His father was too busy to notice his sons movement. "Then he's after...Hurry and dispatch as many special elites as you can to that point!"

"I already did, Tsuchikage-sama, and I--Wait, why did your son jump out the window?"

"Huh?!" Toriyama spiraled around, and his heart skipped a beat when he saw the empty bed and open window. Rushing over to the exposed outside, he hung his head out the window in enough time to see his son cut the corner. "ARAN! WAIT! Shit!" The Tsuchikage turned and ran out the door. This kind of defiance was exactly why he laid down the law, yet it always seemed to repeat itself.

* * *

Wind howled through the dark of night, and the mighty crashing of thunder echoed through the heavens. The bells above Marakuda Shrine wavered and dripped in the storm, clanging together. The shinobi that were stationed at the Shrine were hidden in the shadows, waiting for the one they knew would come.

Rain began to pour endlessly, as though desiring to drown the world. Lightning branched to every corner of the sky, and illuminated the path to the shrine, revealing a shadowy deranged person emerging from the top of the stone staircase. Hunched over, and on the borderline of insane, Deidara shot a powerful glare down the stone road, and placed his sights on the Marakuda Shrine, his target.

The shinobi in hiding watched the bomber walk slowly towards the shrine, reaching into his bag hanging from his side. And when another powerful lightning streak ripped through the skies, the shinobi of Iwagakure leapt from their hiding places in the trees and bushes, and came at Deidara from many angles, kunai and swords in hand, aiming to skewer the banish Iwa nin.

Without speaking a word, Deidara pulled his hands out of the bag, and ducked down low, throwing several clay spiders onto the bodies of the incoming ninjas, and waiting until they all landed. He took his left hand to his chin, and formed a hand seal with his middle and pointer finger, and shouted louder than the rolling thunder. "KATSU!"

The shonbi about faced, but just then, each one was engulfed in a large explosion, the size so large that Deidara himself was caught in the flames. The explosion cleared, and Deidara stood where he was moments before, unharmed other than his shredded clothing. He grabbed ahold of his tattered shirt, and ripped the remains of it off, causing water to flicker in a spray as he tossed it aside.

The rain continued to pour harder, and Deidara looked up into the sky, allowing the drops to collect upon his face and pour. "Looks like heaven is finally weeping for her. Fuanna..." Shaking his head, he turned his eyes once more to the Murakami shrine, and walked towards it eagerly, tears mixing with the rain on his face.

* * *

The heads of the villagers turned as Aran passed them in the streets, running with all the might and speed his tiny body could muster. He hated the rain. It was so cold, and made him feel weak. But his sempai was at stake here. If he didn't hurry, he would lose the chance to see his mentor again. The gates of the village were finally in view.

"Almost there! Deidara-sempai...Please, don't leave!" Despite the gates being closed, he continued to charge towards it as fast as he could. The guards at the gates noticed his mad dash, but since he was just a kid, they did nothing.

Aran performed a swift series of hand signs, and focused as much chakra as he could into his stomach. As he dashed, he arched his torso back, and took a deep breath. "YOUGANTON! SHINTOU BAKUHA MAGUMA!" He lunged his head forward, and spat out a ball of liquid magma. Despite the heavy rainfall, the orb of magma didn't seem to lose any heat, and shot right into the village gates, exploding on impact. The smoke from the explosion quickly cleared, and in the village gates was a large hole, the sides steaming with chilled magma.

Before the guards could react to this, Aran had already slipped through, not having changed his pace of foot. "Marakuda Shrine is only half a mile from here!" Aran said to himself. He looked off into the distance, past the ravine that loomed over the path, and in the direction of the forest that held the shrine. He could hear several blasts coming from it just now. But they weren't from thunder. No. He didn't have much time, and hastened his running.

* * *

Deidara stared at the forbidden scroll of the sculptor Marakuda with longing. The doors to the shrine where it was sealed allowed a glimpse of the scroll through the weaved holes in the design. But getting it out wasn't as easy as unlocking the doors and opening it, as he learned when he reached for the handles.

His hand was electrified by an unseen barrier of some kind, and he quickly pulled his hand away. "They were expecting a thief this time I guess.When I was little, the scroll was treated as myth, and the shrine was left unprotected. Now they've become a bit wiser about it. But something as little as this..." Gathering all the nerve he had, Deidara grabbed hold of the handles with both hands, willingly letting the electrical barrier surge the energy through his body, making him yell in pain. "THIS...THIS IS NOTHING! THIS IS NOTHING A ALL, UN!!! HAAAAAA!"

Thunder rolled across the land, and the storm increased in its ferosity, as the sound of the shrine doors breaking off of their hinges echoed through the shrine courtyard. The doors flew behind Deidara's back, and smashed onto the ground like aged cypress. Deidara took a moment to catch his breath, his entire body smoldering in agony. "This pain...Is absolutely nothing. Nothing compared to the pain I have to live with now." He reached for the scroll, and opened it up, spreading it across the dry inside of the shrine, and performed the hand seals. "Last time, I had no time to memorize the jutsu. After today, I'll never even need to use this jutsu again. The forbidden kinjutsu of the artist Murakami, which it was said he traded his soul to a demon for. The scroll that replaces the users' most useless features with useful ones. He cursed his own weak art, like I did. We are similar, I suppose, because I too used this when I was younger, hating my weak creations."

He finished the hand seals, and stopped for a moment, then slowly placed his left hand upon his chest. "But unlike him...I will use this again. First time, I replaced my hands, which brought me unsatisfying art. This time..."

Suddenly, a dark glow emanated from his hands, and shot into his chest. The skin began to rip slowly, and agonizingly. "This time...I'll replace my heart, which binds me to the world in guilt and sorrow, so that one day...I can have my revenge against that Itachi...For ruining my life." Right about then, Deidara yelled in a horrifying and agonizing screech of pain, and the sound of warping flesh cracked across the courtyard. The water draining across the pavement became a dark red, noticeable only in the flashing lightning.

* * *

Aran ran up the steps, barely able to keep his body up anymore. But he was almost there, he could feel it. However, his anticipation of joy upon seeing his sempai was washed away when he noticed the stream of blood trailing down the paved stairway.

"N-no! DEIDARA-SEMPAI!" With a final burst of energy, his last burst, he emerged at the top of the stairs, only to trip and fall weakly upon the final step. His body wasn't giving him anything more. All he could do now was look up, and see what had become of his teacher.

The moment he did look up though, a quick feeling of joy flowed through him. Deidara was okay, and walking his way. "Se-empai..." he called out weakly. "Tha-ank goodness you're alright..."

Something wasn't right, though. Deidara was walking toward him too slow. If he knew his sempai, he would be rushing over to help him. And when Deidara walked up next to Aran, he stopped without turning toward him. A flash of lighting lit up the sky, and Aran became horrified to see...a mouth upon Deidara's chest. Right where his heart was located.

Another flash streaked across the heavens, and the blond looked at his student. Aran noticed it. The cold, merciless eyes of a madman. Even though he didn't know what it meant, he became afraid. Deidara did not pay Aran any further heed, and continued to walk until he was out of sight.

"Sem...pai..."

The youth, overcome by his own loss, and weakened by his injuries and strains, slipped away into the cradle of his own unconsciousness. Deidara was gone now. The sempai he knew and loved, the man who had been a big brother to him, or even as far as a father, vanished from Aran's life that night. And when he awoke many hours later, in the same hospital bed he ran from, he would not even realize that his teacher had joined Akatsuki, never to return again.


End file.
